Communication, Miscommunication, Busyness, Major Malfunction

Retrograde is in the air and people around me (including myself) are
dealing heavily with communication issues.

I had a thought that general busy-ness of people nowadays is causing
communication problems. Communication takes time. A LOT of time. You
have to train someone to properly interpret what you say in order to
get your needs met. This can probably take many many hours upon months
to understand what a person means when they say something.

The more emotion that is brought into communication, the greater the
chance for errors in interpretation. My high school choir teacher, Mr.
Peter Park, once made the extremely astute observation that: “In the
void of communication, people connect dots in the most pathological
ways possible.” His remedy was to “communicate without ceasing.” This
is especially important in the midst of emotions. If someone is left
in a state of confusion, he/she has only to rely on emotional data to
interpret what the other person means. Emotional data is based on
fears/hopes, which are probably wrong about 80% of the time. So when
you do not perfectly spell out what you NEED to another person, they
are left with their own assumptions about themselves and you to fill
in the blanks.

Never assume a person knows exactly what you mean. Many times people
will nod heads without exactly knowing what you mean. Only through
repeated exposure to similar information with observed outcomes can a
person accurately interpret what you mean.

Don’t take it personally when someone doesn’t understand you. Do not
assume that others don’t love you if they don’t understand something
you were trying to communicate. Communication is a NEVER-ENDING
ITERATIVE PROCESS. My brain will NEVER work the same way yours does,
no matter how much time I spend around you.

Communication takes TIME. And it takes a willingness to admit errors
and vulnerabilities. I have found, for example, that immigrants
necessarily place a large importance on being UNDERSTOOD. If you think
about it, being UNDERSTOOD is critical to SURVIVAL. If you cannot meet
your needs, or get your needs met by others, you will not prosper. So
an immigrant already has a handicap entering a community without full
communication abilities in basic language skills, so they can be
especially frightened if they are not understood by someone, knowing
deeply what communication can do for them.

Kindness goes a long way in letting someone know you did not
understand them. Blame is useless. Removing all emotion from the
process is key to getting results. “I did not understand you. This is
how I could have understood what you meant. Next time would you
_________?”

We must all slow down and invest the patience it takes to learn how
each other thinks and operates if we are to get our needs met and meet
others’ needs.

Body Processor

Blistering skin
Boiling from the heat of a
Broken heart
Pumping white light now
With every beat
Shedding layer after layer
Like a furnace
You throw your wood on my fire
And I devour every log
Melting in my mouth
I taste every angle
Chew every splinter
Knowing it’s good for me
To swallow swords
And be cut deeply by them
Until my insides bleed
My outsides shake
And I run until my body forgets
Its allegiance to my twisted thoughts
And begins to open up again
To Love

Day 6 of 30: No more glasses?

Fought the urge to immediately put my glasses on this morning. It is not fun waking up with blurry vision, and this experiment is already getting old after just 5 days.

I have slumped from doing my eye exercises first thing in the morning to doing them late at night. I feel like my eye control is improving, my vision not-so-much. I still really like the idea of removing the crutches to see how well you can walk on the injured foot. My eyes are definitely still “working” without the glasses on, especially when I make an effort to ready blurry things in the distance, like road signs, as I approach them.

Again, I wore my glasses for about 3 hours tonight. Not sure how this will impact my experiment. I guess I really didn’t have to wear them for most of that 3 hours, but I was just really getting tired of my blurry vision, and when I had to put them on to drive, I couldn’t peel them off my face.

Ug.

Maybe I will start up tomorrow morning with more vigor and do my exercises first thing in the morning. I still have 3 weeks of this experiment to go. I feel like I ought to be doing more than the 100 repetitions of near/far exercises throughout the day if I am really to improve the vision. Maybe I’ll bump that up to 3×100 reps per day starting tomorrow, and try to space them throughout the day.

I’d really like to see some improvement when I go to have my eyes tested again in September! 20/20 improvement of course ;-)

Communication, Intimacy, Knowledge, Discomfort

Without communication, intimacy cannot happen
Without intimacy, you cannot truly know yourself or others
Without knowing yourself and others you have no real power, no love, no joy

Communication needs to be better modeled in society, in schools, in the workplace, in families

It can be so easy to let respect and love slip from our communication. I am daily guilty of this. May we rise above comfort and ease to higher planes of knowledge and bliss…

God is Love, Rev Run, haha

Day 5/30: No more glasses?

5/7 of a week down. Haven’t been doing my solarization exercises faithfully since the sun has been hiding in the mornings the past coupla days.

But all other exercises seem to be slightly starting to get easier. Still not sure how much vision, if any, I’ve recaptured. I have noticed, however, just how hard the body fights the change and creates tension near the eyes. I actually begin to see somewhat clearer when I relax this tension, remembering the admonition to always be comfortable and happy doing the exercises and/or being without glasses.

I’m trying to get my body to adapt to a correction-free way of being, and I think acceptance and not fighting against the body, rather relaxing and giving into that tension may very well be a ticket to the kind of miraculous health change the authors promised and I expect.

Since I am not seeing any obvious visual improvements, I’ve been working on giving my mind permission to see clearly without corrective lenses. I don’t allow it to strain and just keep attempting to focus on blurry objects without discomfort of any kind.

Onto Day 6!

Day 4/30: No more glasses

Learned today:
-Already losing motivation

-Eye exercises still feel good/sore

-I’m getting better at doing eye circles with closed eyes. Today was the first day I actually felt my eyeballs moving around 360 degrees with closed eyes. Mastering a new talent! Ha

Went downtown to the Castro on Muni and everything was fine w/out glasses. Kinda freaked out a passenger doing my near/far focus eye exercises x100 on the bus (look at an ad near ceiling, then focus on store windows outside).

Still getting strain headaches that I have to just mentally relax my brow and eye muscles as they tend to strain naturally since things are all blurry. Objects appeared sharper today, but had to wear my glasses for an hour driving and dinner, and after they felt more blurry. Went out to clubs later tonight and everything looked quite fuzzy (no alcohol).

But, I will march on toward day 30. It’s difficult not getting perfect results after 4 days. Patience, child.

Day 3/30: No more glasses

I feel like my eyes are slightly sharper today. I got a slight headache when putting my glasses on to drive. Eye exercises still revealed weakness in the upper eye muscles.

A couple different activities today: driving and going to a club without glasses/contacts. Driving was not as dangerous at night as I thought it could be. No I don’t recommend this, it’s illegal. Had to be less than 2 cars back from a street sign to read it, but saw all shapes and movements fine. Of course still missing all other people’s facial expressions, which could be important tertiary information when driving.

Going to a club blurry was fun/fine. Danced up on stage and enjoyed the fog and laser light shows through me.

Every once in a while I’d feel a slight brow headache come on then just relax the eyes and it’d go away.

Not yet convinced, not yet defeated…

Day 2: No More Glasses

My eye muscles cooperated well this morning with the new exercise routine. There is still the most discomfort when looking up, esp. in the right eye (poorest vision). It was my first day really out in the world without glasses/contacts in. I rode my bike 30 minutes to the University, and got a feel for how handicapped I am! I tried to focus on distant signs, words, objects until they came into focus.

I found I would start to get a mild headache as my eyes tried to focus, due to a mechanical strain inside the forehead. I seemed to feel an upward pull of a set of eye muscles (there are 3 main sets). When I relaxed these muscles the headache went away and the eyes were forced to focus without the help of structural change around the eye socket. I think this might be key in getting the eyes to start focusing again without strain or squinting.

I went into a mall which made it very clear to me just how out-of-focus everything is right now. It was all a big blur, and I just tried to focus on what I could without straining.

My eyes watered quite a bit on the ride to the University. The ride home I had very little watering. Probably going without contacts for 30 days will help re-calibrate my eyes to a higher level of oxygen supply, which can only be good.

I have also been doing the controversial practice of looking “at” the sun for one minute in the mornings. I haven’t actually looked directly at it yet, just focusing on a very bright cloud next to the sun, and only to tolerance. I’m finding that this is immediately painful to the eyes to continuously focus on something bright (slight burning feeling), but that it may be expanding my homeostatic range of acceptable incoming light frequency. The dark shadow negative only lasts about a minute after, which assures me that no long-term damage is likely being done. I feel this is a helpful experiment because I have been almost blinded in the past by bright environments and perhaps I can prevent this by small, regular exposure to bright lights. Side benefit of eye attention.

In five more days, I expect my vision to have improved 1 point per eye, as “promised.” I plan to have an optical exam at the end of my 30 day experiment to see how much my vision has improved. I can pretty much guarantee my vision baseline is the same level of last year’s prescription.

Unfortunately I had to wear my glasses for about 4 hours tonight for my hobby as a valet car runner. Kinda necessary. Hope it didn’t set me back any! I should be able to go all day Friday without any correction (no driving).

SCIENCE!!

Day 1: No more glasses

So, this morning I started what will be a 30-day study in the ability of eye exercises to improve my vision. I completed 15 different eye exercises within about 30 minutes this morning. My eye muscles/brow were quote sore today, particularly the ones that pull your eyes upward. No huge change in vision yet. My right eye has always been about twice as poor as the left.

I am following a free program I found on Scribd, which claims a 1 point improvement in eyesight with each week on the program. So, within 30 days I should be seeing 20/20! Let the games begin…