The Road to One Thousand

Body Processor

August 9, 2011

Blistering skin
Boiling from the heat of a
Broken heart
Pumping white light now
With every beat
Shedding layer after layer
Like a furnace
You throw your wood on my fire
And I devour every log
Melting in my mouth
I taste every angle
Chew every splinter
Knowing it’s good for me
To swallow swords
And be cut deeply by them
Until my insides bleed
My outsides shake
And I run until my body forgets
Its allegiance to my twisted thoughts
And begins to open up again
To Love

Perspective

August 2, 2011

Sometimes we get confused
We need a warm body
And we need a partner
Someone who gets us
Someone on the same page
We want both now
But partners take time
They’ve got to pass some tests
They’ve got to stick around
They never told us that
They let us think it was a moment
Like it is in the movies
But it’s really only obvious
When it’s a story being told

Born to Fail

July 31, 2011

It’s so hard to be in the thick of things
Unable to see the future
Trusting that your wave is coming
And you’ll be ready to hop on board

I hate the thought of limitations
That my reach won’t save your soul
Trusting blindly in principles that have seen me through
Not knowing if they’ll work for you

I hate that I’m laying in the sun for a day
While homeless still sleep on our streets
I’m frustrated with the pace of adaptation
We’re smarter and more connected than this

Am I really doing what I can
To maximize my gifts?
Hate to see those around me struggle
Years are surely passing
Nothing is changing
My patience is wearing thin.

Enough Talking

July 29, 2011

Take it easy
Don’t let the sound of your own wheels
Make you crazy
The pace of the vehicle
The stops for maintenance
The fact that she needs a new paint job
It’s the desert now
A little hot
A little arid
Vacuous
But over those mountains
Are greener pastures
Beautiful landscapes
Let’s just keep going
We’ll make it to the gas station soon
We’ll cool off a little there
And enjoy the new views

Act 4

July 21, 2011

Tired of chasing phantoms
The opera is far from over
And the audience gasps
As the gentleman appears, stage left

Forgive Me

July16, 2011

Forgive me

I did not trust you

Forgive me

I’m crying tears of regret

My words spoke of fear

Of intolerance

Of not understanding

When what I meant to say was

I’m sorry

I’m listening

I don’t need your validation of my experience

I don’t need for you to be perfect today

I don’t need you to follow in my footsteps

I can love you as you are

And that love will take us both to God

Not Entirely Connected – Waste of Web

July15, 2011

Enough recycling
It’s getting clearer
If we only could agree now
On what our purpose is
We’re still not as connected
As technology allows us
We still have needs out there
And those who could fill them
We’re not efficient yet
We could turn this economy
Around in 3 months
If every talent
Could find its outlet
Then every soul
Could feel their worth
Don’t be afraid now
To let someone help you
It’s an honor you bestow

16,000 Days to Go

July15, 2011

16,000 days to go
Let’s fill each one with magic and love and dreams manifested

Don’t Get Too Comfortable

July 9, 2011

Lulled into promises of safety
Anesthetized by your labor
Working paycheck to paycheck
With no end in sight
Sitting at the bottom of a corporate pyramid
Feeling the weight of the wallets above you
Glancing up through that glass ceiling
You’re agreeing to a culture that’s half-alive
And family relations that are half-destroyed
Cause the work’s not that important
If you can’t share your love
And what will you do when the layoffs come?
Where there’s a will, there’s a way
To live the life of your dreams
Don’t just passively agree with whoever dreamed this scheme

Digging Deeper in Love

July 7, 2011

I ate the fruit
From the forbidden tree
It’s all a running to or running away from love
You showed me how fun
My life could be
Then I ran toward and you ran away from love
He showed me how intimate life could be
Then I ran away and he ran away from love
Are we vessels for love?
Then how pure are we?
As the plants follow sun we are drawn to love
It takes work to be present to another’s needs
To give and receive is a lesson in love
To really be honest and say what you mean
Is a way of respecting and honoring love
But a discipline too
Why not cursing is practice in finding right words
And our heart thumps in love
When truth eloquently speaks
Give your love through your breath
Say just how you feel
People can bear more pain
Than we allow them to know
And through pain comes a depth
Richness of understanding
That sugar-coated half-truths
And allusions can’t touch
I’m ready to reach deeply into my soul
Start with ones closest you
Lay it bare and feel whole

Everything At Once

July 4, 2011

Lusting for cracks in the concrete
I wanna watch everything
Just fucking collapse
Into piles of rubble
The shots in the air tonight
A wakeup call
What are you doing with your life?
Live on the precipice
The knife’s edge of comfort
Do something every day
That scares the shit out of you
We’re full of it anyway
Yeah, you’re full of shit
When you don’t live up to the glory
Your ancestors left you with
What else is there to do in life
But risk, shine, build
Start a god-damned fire
And bask in its heat
Suck the blood out of the neck of life
And enjoy its intoxicating effects
Feel your system light in bliss
Close your eyes and start dancing
Let your heart break and bleed
Until you attract a nurse with a soft blanket
Stop saying
“I like you”
And wrap your thousand arms around this life

Once Black and White

June 30, 2011

Your beats weave through me
As the wind licks my skin
I close my eyes
And the memories start dancing
Like the way he looked at me
And the times I’ve been loved
And how it’s always changing
Like a good house track
So I savor this moment
With his hand in my hand
Because at 4:16
He’s ending the song
Then I’ll swim in the terror
Of the void of his love
But this time we’ll talk
And he’ll pull at my chain
And remind me the story
I’ve told to myself
About how good it feels
To do just as they said
And I’ll remember the purity
Of the days of my youth
When there was just one man
In my future for sure
Before I learned how to give
Of myself to another
Before I learned to take care of myself in the mix
Before my family tree sprouted six rogue branches
And the colors took over
What was once black and white

Move!!!!

June 28, 2011

Most of the action
Takes place in our brains
We forget we are animals
Flesh, blood, muscles, oxygen

The bodies suffer
Fat, weak, slow, dying

Unless you’re ready
To be a disembodied head
I suggest living more
Like the raw beast nature intended

Heart Quality

June 27, 2011

How does your heart feel?
Heavy with fog?
Locked down in chains?
Did you forget the feeling of flying free?
The magic is in your wizardry
Wave a wand in your mind
And you can create
A softness, the temperature
That would make your heart happy
Dismiss anyone
Who messes with the switch
Constantly
Erase the thoughts
That produce the chemicals
That invade the heart
Demean the spirit
Make you feel anything other than
Safe, powerful, bright, and loving

Thanks for Coming

June 26, 2011

A pilot
Ja fei ji
The sun’s synergy
A tee shirt
These earrings
More Aries in love
I saw them
While dancing
We finally meet
The most powerful sign
In chaos we thrive
I kiss them goodbye
My long lost friends
Thanks everyone
For enjoying my party

Go to Sleep

June 25, 2011

Mythological madness
A grape walked by
Took a scissor to the whizzer
Why did God create us so?
Maniacal meltdown
Every crazy thing you said
Blooms so beautifully
Time for a catfight
Poised for success
I took my wishes to the well
Memorizing magic
I threw them all away
Zip up your lip up
It’s impossible to believe
It’s true about the magnets
We like to think we’re special

Join the Mile High Club

June 22, 2011

Life is but a dream
Too short to dwell on pain
Creating worlds of misery
A waste of precious time
My heart is in the clouds
You’re grounded in what’s “real”
Come with me higher up
And get a better view

Purify Me

June 19, 2011

You have the ability to remain calm
You have the ability to respond with respect
You have the ability to smile at the absurdity
You have the ability to summon great powers

If you choose to accept these gifts
You’ll be granted a peace
That requires no wisdom
A following
To make a rock star blush
A grace
That dances night and day

For deep within all
Is the knowledge
That distinctions are false
Disagreements are hailstorms
Communications ease fears

‘Cause these brains, rapid thoughts
Create dissonant waves
Bubbles of distraction
Illusions of safety
That keep us forgetting our faith and reliance

On the ever-present rhythms
Of the world that spins us
The sun that warms us
The universe that incubates us
The energy that binds us

Yoga In the World

June 19, 2011

Kept myself in a tight box
For a long time
Now that I’m free of the walls
I can walk so far in any direction
Sometimes I lose track
Just testing the new limits
And wander back to center
Awed by the delights
I’ve found outside myself
That must also be found within
What a colorful life I’ve painted
Stretched beyond comfortable

Momentum and Inertia

June 16, 2011

Lazy thoughts build mountains
Erect high walls
Leave you knee-deep in cement

But once you’re running free
And moving faster
A pleasant breeze cools your face

Suddenly it all seems very easy
And you wonder what took you so long
To begin

Friendly Competition

June 14, 2011

Whispering in the dark
The empire is crumbling
All the trophies we collected
Buried in the rubble of our fears

Unfiltered Passion

June 14, 2011

This passion
Welling up, from somewhere inside
Picking up speed
Gushes from the mouth and eyes
Soaking you

But now it’s loosed
I can’t stop it
Even if you want me to
Like a sneeze, a cough, a vomit
This emotion came out of me

Then it left
As quickly as it came

And we are both sitting here in the aftermath
You’re dripping
I’m shaking
Wondering whose job it is to clean it all up

Move and Love – Beyond Words

June 6, 2011

Still encountering boulders
Rafting ever down this river
Still freaking out occasionally
Hitting at them with my paddle
Thinking again
With the wrong third of my brain

The animal reactive
The calculator

Vestiges of an ancient world
Where we ran for our lives
And communicated with words
Ever in crisis

But we’re remembering
With each surge of adrenaline or despair
Our real intelligence
Has no thoughts, no language

We only just move, play and love

Staying Awake

June 4, 2011

Facing strangers
Shattering our shells of glass
I reach out and touch the case you came in
I like this one
It amuses me
And I need to be amused

I want my illusions smashed

I want to run my hands all over your body
To feel my soul
My numb, empty, hollow insides
That only fill with love or rage

I blow my worries away
Cuz they shake the vessel
I need to be calm
Or alive and glowing intensely
This life is a dream
And we live it like it’s real

I want to swim in the wonder
Of you and I
And drown in the madness of it all

I want to penetrate through this skin
From the inside

Dissolve it
And meld into One

Love is in the Air

May28, 2011

Dreaming now with my eyes wide open
Behaving in such an expectant way
Sure of God’s wondrous plans for me
That I turn to the universe
Blushing
And say, please, no more gifts
This is truly excessive

In the smallest acts of kindness and mercy
Does God reveal how little faith we have
How rarely we practice what we preach
How occasionally we allow ourselves
To feel as good
As Loved
As we imagine when we read of God’s Love

As if Love were a butterfly
An infrequent visitor
A flash of inspiration
And not the air we breathe

Move!

May21, 2011

You’re all moving with me
In the rising tide of my life
I look around
So much more now
Really look
And all IS full of love
If we are all just energy
Then easy is right
And stopping is wrong

Energy must be loosed

Your frozen limbs atrophy and die
So move them in the way
Life instructs you
Though it makes no sense
And others scratch their heads
Your movement indeed
Is what sets you free

You Want to Own Me?

May18, 2011

You want to put a patent on me
Copyright me
Protect your asset
The thing you have found
Gained by hard work
Or maybe not

You want to own me
Like a capitalist
All to yourself
For the first few years
So I’m more valuable
Keep all the rights

You want to cover me up
Hide me from men
Keep me a secret
So that only you profit

You are scared
I’ll get carried away
And shared with the world
Out of control
Changed and unable
To take care of you
And all that is yours

Well I’m as free
As the ideas
That came through you
And just as loyal
To your best interest

I am an honor
So fuck our hypocrisy
Let’s start a new ism

Calming Down

May16

Hamburgers on TV
Fine, a sign
Houses painted white
Blind the scorpion
Take me deeper in
Just what I needed
Melt away my anxiety
Let me be here now

Control Freak

May13, 2011

Refocusing
On the amazing gifts life has for me
Every day
Little by little
Stopping thinking
About what I’m not getting

Trying to escape this mental maze
Need to keep looking for openings
Don’t panic at the dead ends
Just turn around and keep walking
With eyes wide open, heart wide open
Stop fixating on immovable walls
The ones I built with my mind

The Universe just wants me to be free
So it can move me
With fluid dynamics, down the path of least-resistance
Toward an efficient resolution
Do I trust her intentions?

Early Death

May10, 2011

I feel like I fucked it up
It’s fun taking ownership
Realizing everything that goes south for you
Was caused by you
And your willingness to kill something beautiful
Right in front of you
Because you’re not ready, or not stable, or not believing, or not capable
Or not standing on your own two feet
If you can remember where in hell you put them

What’s Going On?

May7, 2011

A well-timed illness
A surgery
A grand mystery
For you and me?

A lull in work
To think and reflect
Drama removed
So I can sit with yours?

These days I feel
So close to God
I hear his poets
What goes on behind the scenes

It feels so empty
When you’re free
We’re beasts of burden
Naturally

God wanted to dance
I still resist
Never have been good
At being led

Ready to Sprout

May6, 2011

I feel like a seed
Small and innocuous
To any casual observer
But
I’ve been shoved deep into fertile soil and I’m about to burst open
Wildly in all directions
With roots that take hold
Colors that charm
And tendrils that climb and scream for the sky

Thrive!

May5, 2011

You were sewn from an infinite thread
That’s why Love keeps tugging at your heart
The Lover misses you
When you’re lonely
Come back!

Don’t you remember
Getting everything you wanted?
You still do!

Desire is a powerful magnet
So be careful what you wish for
Run it up the flagpole
Make a list and check it twice
When the nets you cast are empty
Or brim full of surprises

Push on, little human
You’ve got a job to do on this planet
And you’re just now learning to aim this big gun

Even the boys know it’s about trust and surrender
And retiring from your post
As general manager of the universe

When are you going to quit your job
And start showing up for work?

The world needs your pink afro
Your penchant for threesomes, stupid jokes, and mushroom honey
Why else would it ask you to be born?

Use your glorious mind to imagine doing the only thing the universe asks you to do: Thrive, thrive, thrive!

Drawn In

May4, 2011

Sing!
It’s just a black ant crawling on a white elephant anyway
Stark but pretty inconsequential
From a distance
What matters is that the big guy’s breathing
And munching on some grass
And the little guy is eagerly navigating the hairs
Making his way across the surface
Going nowhere, really
But you insist on sitting and staring at them
And I am drawn in

Inside My Head

May2, 2011

I must trust the expanding waves
The ones that pull on my heart
Begging it to free itself
I must smother the contracting waves
The ones that set the hamster spinning
Flinging worry and fear
Still learning who to trust
Who to listen to
Inside my head
More than ever
I need the company of my heart
When visiting that booby-trapped, overgrown jungle

 

Carriers

May1, 2011

They’re so full of lies
The angry prisoners of this world
Their minds are mush
They were bitten by zombies
And on they go recruiting in misery

I’ve been bitten so many times
When I thought I was safe
By parents, friends, teachers,
Professors, coaches, lovers

We get sick sometime after
Can’t figure out why we feel bad
The toxin is multiplying
Feeding off our fears

It’s a lifelong mission
To surface and purge the venom
And to keep your mouth shut
Your teeth to yourself
Especially around children
Until the pain subsides

Starting Over

April24, 2011

Deeply present
With the nothingness I felt in her
The profound sense of a today
That’s been violently shook of its yesterday and tomorrow
A blank canvas
A swept room
A register at zero
An orphan, a widow
A traveler in a vast landscape
Not ready to dream
Still grieving my murders
The children I’ve drowned
The lessons I’ve learned
Never felt so naked
In front of the world
Never wanted so badly
To find out who I am

Fever Worlds

April23, 2011

With my eyes closed
I saw into my large body
Seven semi trailer trucks
Lined along a highway
Along a meadow
Along a river
I awed and thrilled in the enormity
The spaciousness inside
I thought I knew about my size
By looking at things outside

Winning

April21, 2011

Deeply alone and happy
Is where I’ve found them
The rare kindreds, looking knowingly
Into my eyes with timeless recognition
Mostly children, animals
A rare free-spirit at the bus stop
It’s an off-season in this national park
Spacious, quiet bliss
Must be present to win in this raffle
And I’m getting all the gifts

Where the Clouds go to Melt

April18, 2011

My dreams are like the sun
Strong
And I’ve visited a million breath-taking
Heart-melting
Color-rich scenes
Hot with vivid intensity
Though I lived too long in the comfortable cool shade, sticking a hand or foot into the light for a recharge.
But I know now
My home is in the sky
Warmed by the fire of my dreams’ actions
I can live every day where eagles fly
Where birds sing
High in perspective
And where the clouds go to melt, so they can give themselves away

Divine

April17, 2011

Hallucinating tiny people
Wearing grey suits
With stripes of flashing neon
Dancing around to no music
Tripping off chocolate raisins and popcorn
My life is my center
My life is my center
My life is my center
My life is my center
They’re all in on it
I see that now
Everyone smiling from their
Normally concealed
Recessed caves
When I call out the Divine in them
Like magic
The Divine takes over
And greets me

Life is Good

April15, 2011

My soul feels no older or wiser
Only less trapped
In this body

Less limited, restricted
More free to be moved by the currents
That feed us and surprise us
More able to see things clearly
Less colored by my fears

I’ve entered a land of wonder and praise
And thanksgiving
For all that is

Out There

April4, 2011

I wasn’t the little girl
Who dreamed of a big white wedding
Or planned her colors
Her flowers
Her bridesmaids

I just remember
Asking God
To prepare a good man for me

Climax

March26, 2011

Cruising the

curves of 280

Your dark shadow
Aeroplane
Passed over me
Low and rumbling
My breathing quickened
My cells lifted
Trembled in ecstasy
And settled back onto my bones

LPG

March23, 2011

My heart beats and a thousand kisses take flight
Maybe one will catch a breeze
And land on your lips
Or your cheek
Your chest
What are the chances
We would meet in this lifetime?
Two hands reaching out
We pulled each other in
Navigating a river
That was long dreamed for us
It carries them too
All the sexy, courageous artists,
Life-crafters and body surfers
I know you’re in my waters
Let’s see where this goes…

New Life

March22, 2011

Anything to take me deeper,
Further away,
Closer to the light.
I’m absorbing now
Not kicking much out
Too much to take in.
I’m only 30
These years are just bonus lives
Time to tinker and have some fun!

Warriors

March18, 2011

We ran through the fields together
In the dark
Our faces painted
Our intentions married
Our weapons near

Here We Go!

March15, 2011

Ushering in the magic
Welcome to my cotton candy palace!
Fly on in, swirl around my head
And dazzle me with your dreams.
I built this mansion last week
Out of love and light and ecstasy
Why wouldn’t they all want to come?

Let Go and Let God Play

March13, 2011

How did you do it?
How did you show up and make all my dreams come true?
How did he know what I needed?
And why would I get what I want?

I was born with these dreams
Curiosities

They are God’s dreams for me
Why else would they come and thrill me so fully?
It dreams through me.

Never again to apologize
Never again to hide
This little light of mine
All I have to do is let it shine

Winning

March11, 2011
Pink and red glitter fills the air between me and the ocean
Its dark sky calm
It’s all washing away
All the crap they built
And their neat little rows
And I am so glad
Nature is winningI need to believe
She is powerful
Tenacious
Vengeful
Glorious
Otherwise
Who would I be?

Happy Forward

March7, 2011

Sitting on the emptiness
Haven’t tried out the new me
Basking in the slowness
Duty-free, peaceful, at ease
Riding out the calm
Till Aries comes my way
Have a feeling when it does
I won’t rest again till May
Lining up my ducks
Feels like something I should do
But I’m happy watching clouds
For another week or two

Coach’s Mantra

March6, 2011

You’re better than that
You’re better than that
You’re better than that
You’re better than that

Going Anywhere

March1, 2011

Going where the wind blows me
But stretching out my wings, surfing the currents with flair, and enjoying the views
I’m so high
The sun is always on me now
Let me stay up here
A while longer

Dreaming?

February27, 2011

My heart is riding on a giant bubble
That’s about to burst
With the knowledge of the energy of the universe
That excites itself most in
Lowly creatures
With minds of metal
And intuitions of glory.
More reason than ever
To seek the guidance of that power and its lucid dreams that ripple like waves through our existence,
Dead or alive
All the more reason to celebrate the stupid confidence of a beam of light
Checking itself out
In a tiny mirror
At 600 million miles an hour
What the fuck?–as the light bounces back–This is NOT A DREAM?????

We Made This

February27, 2011

Be careful the company you keep
Everyone carries a dream
Do our dreams produce the magic?
Are you ready for your heaven?
Lifted to a state of being
Only I believed was real
Will you meet me, blissed again
On that cloud designed by us?

Baking

February22, 2011

So grateful
That the master pastry chef
Is watching over my life
Turning up the heat at just the right time
Patiently waiting while I transform
Not opening up the door
When my cries leave like steam
I know I’ll be just the right color when he takes me out
Stay in here with me
We’ll be so delicious

Teach Me Pisces

February21, 2011

Want to be so light and free
A spherical buoy in the cruel ocean
Letting the rich wisdom and history of the waves that touch me
Move me most efficiently
Most purely
Wanna know that I’m floating
Even when I’m spinning
Wanna know that I hit you
With just the right amount of force
Perfectly transferred
Perfectly communicated

Showing Up

February17, 2011

You meet me like flashes of light
Bright spots in the gray of my life
I drink you like glasses of water
Always thirsty, I never get enough
Only one like Jupiter
Gravity so strong
Covered in stardust
I get sucked into you

Good Grief

January30, 2011
I have no reason to cry
I live in a beautiful city
My belly is full and I have family and friends and work
A man sleeps on the ground
Three feet away
While I selfishly sob
Against a cold pillar
In the warm morning sunHelp me imagineHow being separated

Is really for the best

When being together
Has made me so happy

The Screening

January30, 20111

I’m on an 80s television
Demonstrating drills
With static and fuzz
Some are watching for the lesson
Some want to know how bold they can be

Thursday, January 27, 2011

BETTER

Why not spend forever
Woven in this embrace?
Never fell so hard
For someone so worth loving.
I thanked God today
For a man that inspired me
To hike up my hills
The way I used to know how.
You were just what I needed
Without meaning to be.
Every day I get better for knowing you.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

MAN UP

Wanna take your heart of glass
And shatter it on the concrete
Fucking tired of the soft skin
Over hesitant calculating circuitry
You know how you feel
Stop fitting my words into your formulas
Need someone more reactive
Someone more willing to punch a hole into my chest
Rip my heart out
And talk to me about it
Can’t stand ballet
I wanna tango

Monday, January 24, 2011

GONE

Too shy to write you
Don’t know if you feel the same
I’m hoping it’s just hormones
That are causing my pain
It’s killing me to think
Of your eyes searching mine
Of your cheek on my cheek
Your voice and your scent
Your fingers on my skin
Knowing it will be months
Until I feel you again

EMOTIONALLY IMMERSED

My rough edges
Smoothing down
Been tossed around
In the river of this life
No point in fighting the currents
The scenery will tell you everything
Just look around
Really look
You are cooking in a stew
And the other ingredients
Are right there with you
They’re reading the same recipe

Friday, January 21, 2011

SIDERAILED

Drifted into a side-cove
Sat there for a long time
Getting rocked by the waves
And doing nothing really about it
I couldn’t see out for the fog
Feeling sorry for myself
I finally took the oars
And found my way back out to sea

Thursday, January 20, 2011

POETRY AND SCIENCE

Poetry and science
Are not so different after all
Both taking something large
And exploring just a part
Looking for the beauty
The simplicity
And the elegance
Looking for the rhythms
Rhymes and reasons
Publishing

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

TAKING IN

Today was honey in my mouth
Poured by the gifting hand of GodSweet perfection revealed
In every infinite momentWaves of action
So precisely timed
Crashing into my shores
And shattering stones of resistance
Into tiny grains of sand

You win
I surrender

Sunday, January 16, 2011

LIGHT SEASONS

I realize
How silly it is
To be insanely jealous
Of the people on whom the sun is shining
When the earth has moved me to its dark, quiet side, for a while
Or when a series of mostly impenetrable clouds keeps blocking the glowSo I throw off my clothes, close my eyes, and give a huge smile
Grateful
Relieved
Overjoyed
When you light my skin again

Friday, January 14, 2011

SECURITY

There you go again
Drinking your red bull
And giving me wings

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

IT’S SIMPLE, REALLY

The sands are strewn across the universe
In as many stars
I can only see a few hundred
From my front porch
But they make me gasp in the wonder
Of my own little consciousness
In this naked pink body
On this tiny planetIn a huge sea of worlds
How much other life is awakening
Upon the fuel of their spheres?
Trillions of fiery globes burning green
and blue and teeming with anything
that has a chance of survivalWe are called only to glory in each other’s abilities
And bear a trembling witness to the awesome burgeoning of life all around us

All else is a human complication.

Monday, January 10, 2011

BREAKTHROUGH

Pain is an illusion
These bodies come and go
Cells die and turn to dust
The pain is in your brainHurt is a story
That usually isn’t true
Stop lying to yourself,
God has such wondrous plans for youWhen you are sad
Listen to the narrative that plays inside your head
You can bullshit yourself
Cause fear is built into us all

Though no one else would buy your stories
You would buy them and embellish
Replay them and relive them
Make yourself sick with every sentence

Start to be your own best friend
Listen critically to your thoughts
Examine them for truth and love
So things will go more well for you

Friday, January 07, 2011

SHINE WITH ME

Sometimes you’re my cloud
On a sunny day
The weight of your insecurities
Rains on me
While I glisten in the sunshine
And yet people keep coming into my life
At just the right times
Feeding my curiosities
Building me up
I’m going to be shining so brightly soon
Will you shine with me?

Sunday, January 02, 2011

MISSION

Still reeling from the wonder of it all
I’ve experienced the Universe’s
Always perfect actions
In shockingly minute detail
And I’m in awe
Of the machinery of LifeSome call it God, a process
Some call it Love, a collective caringSome are famed for the chunks they have broken out and understood
The scientists, the poets, the preachers
The parts are entertaining

But I want to wrap my head around the Universe
I want to feel the energy from every last packet of light vibrating against me like a giant massaging bath
A sea of static bliss

I want to comprehend the whole system
Before I die
Give me everything you’ve got
Astrology and religion and science and yoga and naivety
And everything

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

THE NEXT LEVEL

Those of us
That have grown up with scarcity
Sometimes have difficulty
Accepting the abundance
That Life has to offerWe think
Surely this is the best
I have ever had
And if I lose it
There can be nothing more for meWhen you are not in the Room
God laughs at your limited thinking!
For even now he is preparing to surprise you
Beyond your imagination…

GROWING PAINS

I’ve not yet allowed joy
To take up permanent residence
I still fill up the silence
I still assert my will
Demanding doors be knocked down
Life is still not as easy
As it could be
I want the peace of the sages
The knowing that my best interest
Has already been accounted for
I still need lessons and teachers
Because I’m still marching in front
Of God’s army

Monday, December 27, 2010

FIND YOUR CHILD

You don’t have the right
To hold onto your pain
As long as you clutch that fireball
You will burn everyone who tries to hold your handYou don’t have the right
To withhold your trust
What you think is a shield is a nasty dreamweaver
And those you love get caught in your nets

You don’t have the right
To perpetuate hurt in the world
Men are more prone to this than women
It takes greater courage for a man
To humble himself when abused

The only way to live and love
Is with the heart of a child
That purity and innocence
Was not reflected when you last looked in a mirror
But the child is not gone
You just need a cleaner mirror

Sunday, December 26, 2010

STRANGELY REAL

I agreed to hold your heart forever
And my chest opened wide
I was sitting on the recliner
And your heart flew inside
Tears streamed through my eyes
As your heart merged with mine
I wonder if you felt it
If you gave it
Is it mine?

Saturday, December 25, 2010

LOVE, LUST, AND FUN

I woke up on Christmas morning
And found your gifts under my tree
Memories of you and me
I unwrapped them eagerly
And replayed them, one-by-one
Treasures of love, lust, and fun!

Friday, December 24, 2010

A BECKONING

I can’t imagine what God is preparing for me
Those mysterious ways
Have stretched my heart to its widestI’m so ready to give and receive
Where are you? And how has life tested you?
How have you arrived at me
More ready to make Love with me than any man before?

And if life really is what the women say it is:
A series of undeniable nudgings and signposts along a preordained path of enlightenment,
This is surely good timing.

My confusion is for my probing
Your pain is for your pondering
God has given us this time
So that we may know our deepest desires
And purify ourselves of our deepest flaws

Arrive at me knowing what your heart is capable of
We need a common understanding of Love
So that we may never retreat away from each other into the dark corners of our hearts

I want to pulse off you
Always
Resonate
Reverberate
So we can amplify
And fill our world with
Light, Laughter, and Love

Thursday, December 23, 2010

WE COULD START A FACTORY

Why don’t schools teach us
How to love each other?
Why is love ed
Reserved for Sunday school and broken homes?
15 minutes a week of wisdom
Would keep
Thousands of men and women
From giving up on themselves
And doubting life’s abundance
Why are 70-year-old men
Still worried about wives cheating?
No one showed them how to be happy
Misery finds company

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

LOVE EQUATION

One day
In my spare timeI will have deduced a formula
For a life of abundanceIt will be so simple
And elegant

A love equation

The whole world
Will be seduced

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

TAME THE BRAIN

I’m done with this brain
It makes me insane
It sorts my emotions
With stories of pain
That aren’t even true
Run away, run away
The tiger will kill you
Save us! Save yourself!
Fear moves feet
And mine want to be moved
I must quiet this mind
Make it chase what I choose

Monday, December 13, 2010

FAIRYTALE

I’m so lucky
To have tasted love
Straight out of a fairytale
With magic
And journeys
And characters so rich
We dreamed
And found each other

Sunday, December 12, 2010

SOMEDAY NUN

I saw a hummingbird
And
A thousand butterflies left my stomach
I guessed you felt it too
Cuz we are both anxious
I’m loud about it
And you stay silent
Your love is a thousand thank yous
Are you my Teacher? Lover? Friend?
The signs say stay
But you feel like my mortal enemy
Your water keeps putting out my fire
And I only light up for you
I’m at the DNA lounge
Devastated again
I keep inviting you in
And your life keeps leaving me
I need your hands on my body
Your voice in my ears
Your scent in my air
Because you’re so much more tangible
Than my God

Saturday, December 11, 2010

WHEN

In four years
I all but forgot how to have fun
I thought free time was a luxury I couldn’t afford
Friends were an afterthought
Pleasure meant I wasn’t working hard enough
Or late enough
I would be happy when…
When…
When?

A NEW VIEW

I turned the corner
And the sky opened up
The world was so large
The views so stunning
My heart so free
It fluttered its wings

Friday, December 10, 2010

BALANCE AND THE FUTURE

Sometimes we see the signs more clearly
But we always have the future
Sometimes God’s voice is firm
Other times we are lost and call to him
We hear what we want to hear
We can go from No Love to Love Train
In one decision
There’s no Secret
What you want is given to you
Wishing is for shallow wells
Desire moves through you
Like the seasons
Is it intelligent?
It’s intelligent as an ant colony
Or the flight of birds down south
It is balance
A balance our fragmenting minds cannot compute
And therefore cannot rationalize
And we call it God’s Will

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

HYPOTHESIS

I’m in the middle of a fun experiment
No really, a happy experiment
I want to know if a disciplined person
Can simply chase her pleasures
And attract the life of her dreams
Her dormant, closeted dreams
Which lack a bridge from the now
The test is whether joy lights the paths
That the heart desires
Since the mind gets stuck in the mud

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

LETTING GO

Sinking into the mystery
Watching it all like a travelerI’ve given up
On feeling bad
Life is too short
For pain the mind createsMy ego swells when problems arise
I turn inward
Close my eyes
Let go of your hand
All I see are my faults
Shortcomings
Dispair
I imagine deep holes to fall into

But I’ve learned
I’m horribly
Allergic to fear
It makes me break out
It makes me ugly
Fat
Frozen
And sick
And delusional

Life must always be joyful
The sun never cries
What’s done is done
And what will be
Will be amazing
Cuz it always is
We’ll get through it together
Because we’re all in this ocean
We don’t have time to stall
Swim the currents without fear

Sunday, November 28, 2010

TODDLERS

Tonight I almost touched the sunWe’ve been coming together
In nightly ceremoniesHoping one day our hearts
Will open so wide
They swallow each other
For a taste of the One
We’d die to be born into

That feeling of stillness, that buzzing, that calm
Where all is light
And movement is dance

But tonight
We walked close up
Beheld the glory
Then teetered away like toddlers

Thursday, November 25, 2010

OVERFLOWING

My stomach is full
My heart wide open
Today I received
All that I gave
I’m slowly recharging
I’m almost there
I’ll feel like this
All the time
When life is just giving
And blessings abound
All our cups filled
And overflowing
When work is easy
And difficulties die
To opportunities
In every dilemma
How long can I hold this?
And do God’s work?
God never hates his job
It’s all perfect Love

MAN FRIENDS

You found me in my kitchen
Dancing, singing, baking
You lit my stove and drove away
The way you like to do
I found you in your car
I told you to keep dreaming
There’s a woman in the world
Who will let you be all you
He found me on the web
And shared a poem with the world
It made me soar and cry
And wonder if this man I knew
I found him on his phone
He was flying in the dark
I checked in like I do
Almost every day or two

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

GETTING READY FOR BLASTOFF

It’s a smashup
The world projected on a pushpin
We all get taught how to live
‘Cause happy is our greatest asset
Happy keeps the air clean
And the water clear
And the gardens green
And one smile can light a room
So why do we wallow in misery?
It feels so good feeling empty
It’s like an old friend
Who’s always a downer
Not the kind of company
You would make and keep now
Empty feels like a space you could leave
And grow from

Monday, November 15, 2010

EXPAND

If you wanna grow
You gotta send out roots in all directions
You’re going to need more water
More food
More sunlight
More resources
You’re going to want to plant yourself
In fertile soil
Make yourself beautiful
Attract the bees
Let them dive in and out of you
Nothing grows in a void
If you wanna take over the world
You need to give and receive
Three hundred sixty degrees

Sunday, November 14, 2010

MEANDERING

Sometimes you just have to show up
Check it out yourself
See the contrast of the sparkling lights
Against the darkness of the moonlit desert
A spiderweb fence in the middle of nowhere
Is anyone watching?
Or am I alone sufficient?
Am I the One looking at reflections of nature in a still lake?
A fractal living a dreamed reality?
We all speak the same language
In 7 billion dialects
We treat each other like we disagree
Just for fun
We all need enemies
Products of misunderstandings
Otherwise
Who would we be!
Not content to be happy
We pretend to be human
It’s fun getting lost in this skin

Thursday, November 11, 2010

WHERE-TO NOW?

I went boldly in the direction
Of an ill-conceived dream
And now I’m reaping the fruits
Of my wandering
My dreams are still dormant
What can I hope to be?
What’s the life that will bring me meaning?
The easiest answer is a wife and mother
The occupation of my mother
And grandmother
There’s nothing I want more
From my life at this point
And yet I have trouble owning it
Thinking like a man
Has gotten me nowhere
Don’t get the point of earning for me

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

WANNA BE STOKED

I am a 4-wheel drive monster truck
Spinning my wheels
Will I ever be satisfied
That my work is important
That I’m not needed elsewhere
Money wasn’t enough to tie me down
So I let myself fall into a void
Of self indulgence
Pouring my energy into a survival game
A birthing of a business of my own making
And an exploring of work
That might excite and fulfill me
And it did
And now that those embers are cooling
I want to know
What I can pour myself into tomorrow
How do you stay stoked?

Saturday, November 06, 2010

OPEN FOREVER

I’m ready now to stay open
The nail has been driven
Through my palm
It will never close tightly again
Around the wrists of those I love
I am enough
Just giving love
And watching what unfolds
In the only way it can
What made me think
I knew what was best for myself?
I laugh at the thought
God has always provided enough for me
Today is not different
Love rules eternal
Yesterday
Today
And forever

Friday, November 05, 2010

HOW IT SHOULD BE

Coincidence
Events coinciding
Not entirely randomly
Good things happening
Hearts opening
Right place at the right time
The trick to peace
Is knowing
Not forcing
It’s always been
How it should be

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

RECKLESS AT HEART

I’m not good at protecting my heart
I love like the sunshine
Strong, brightly, and forever
I’m not good at building a boat
That floats the ocean’s currents,
And carries us into the sunset
But I can light your life and warm your heart
Until you retreat to the shadeAnd when I feel that sun upon MY skin
I shed all my layers
And bask until it gets too hot
And makes me sleepy
And colors me beautifullySometimes I get burned
Love weathers my skin
Leaving freckles
For the next admirer

Sunday, October 31, 2010

M.E.

I took a little hit tonight
Your love still has me hooked
My animal brain says run to you
Even though you leave me cold
Just a hint of a fire
And like a moth
I’m drawn right in
You get me high
And I crave what you’ve got
So familiar, so foreign, so me

GOTHIC NIGHT

If you’re not happy
It’s surely not the end
The bold die many deaths
To their follies
Pulling strings on this planet
Is a blindfolded job
One sense off
And it all collapses
In my haste to feel alive
I jumped ship
No lifeboat
And I tested the waters
No teacher
Now I’m tired of swimming
But without shore in sight
I look around for a lighthouse
To guide me
Why do I still feel pain?
Why do I accept my judgments?
Who am I to bring myself down?
There are no mistakes
Just chances to know
Who you really are
Deeply inside

Thursday, October 28, 2010

THE PRUNING

In the end
I’d rather have my peace of mind
Than striving, flailing, grasping
It’s just not worth the closing down
The moments wasted in agonyIf it’s all good
And it’s all God
And everything I’ve been teaching
Pain motivates
In other words, moves you
In directions you have been avoidingI’ve never been tested like this before

My boldness yielded lessons
That taste like death
But fear always does
So I try to remember
I’m only dying
To a non-awesome life

I chose this path
I took these risks
And it’s time to rethink what I want

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

HELL

I’m in my own personal hell
I wish I could accept myself
And my decisions
But the consequences are too great
I’ve risked everything
And it all could fall apart
Did I do enough?
I should have done more
I’m maxed out
Stressed out
Never want to be here again
To have any chance of success
I have to see this through
My limitations feel like a corset
I guess I’ve played my cards
The hand has been dealt
I’m in purgatory
And it’s out of my control

BATTLE OF ONE

In a city full of people
I’ve never felt so alone
There’s a tension I’ve been holding
For 3 long years
A strange sort of
Arm twisted
Growth stunting
Burden
That has kept me poor
Miserable
Under the radar
Of the happy, well-adjusted people
I wished I was having drinks with
Survival mode ends tonight
As I lay the final handmade brick in the foundation
Of a world I dared to create
From nothing less than a longing to do
Something meaningful
And my hands are shaking
My thoughts tormenting
Wondering if any of it is good enough
Then confused by all my doubts
I built a house when I was 23
But that was a sure bet
And easy enough
This is me
Or it all came through me
All of it was my doing
My dreaming
My vehicle
Into a city I’ve always feared
My little craft
On autopilot
My personal project, half-conceived
This will not make or break me
But I will be judged tomorrow

Sunday, October 24, 2010

INFINITE DUO

I’m rushing into forever
I’m used to getting what I want
When things don’t work I fix them
If there’s a door I open itI’m ready for infinity
66 years and we’re here
As orchestrated and delicate
As the kiss of life on EarthNone of us should be here
The odds against us are too great
So all of you have meaning
There’s no small part to play

There are those of us fate smiles upon
We always seem to get what we want
But it takes two to dream this dream
Dance this dance
Love and be loved
It has always taken two

Saturday, October 23, 2010

SOFT AND CALM

It smells so fresh after last night’s rain
And the air is strangely calm
Like the air around us
When I’m in your arms
My heart’s a soft pillow for your soul

Monday, October 18, 2010

NOT BEING USEFUL

Small vortecies
Spinning all around the city
Sucking in
Nothing to give
At least one resists
Plays his violin for us
Trembling in fear
But still putting out

Thursday, October 14, 2010

DIM LIGHT

Today again I felt small
Cornered, ignored
Forgetting painfully
That the universe is dying
To love me
And I will be loved
Totally
Unabashedly
Freely
Just as soon as I agree to do the same
And if these blinders are closing down my heart
Making me sick
I need to tear them off
So I can see all Love’s possibilities
The daises are hypnotizing
And they confuse me
With their yes’s and no’s
I need to stay fixed on beauty
‘Cause it’s all beauty
It’s all truth
And I don’t want to feel small today

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

MORE ME

Maybe it’s time to venture out again
Claim a new space
Fill it with myself
And see who comes

Monday, October 11, 2010

HOPING

My heart knows no other words
I just love you
And everything you are
And all that you will become
And all that you ever were
You’re a living metaphor
And I’m lucky to have met you
On this planet
In this lifetime

Saturday, October 09, 2010

ENJOYING THE VIEWS

I was bigger than myself this morning
I’m activating my potential
And it’s vast
Like the widest, lushest meadow
Stretching farther into the distance
Than I have ever seen a landscape go
And this love
Sweet, light, grounding, deep
Invited me there

Friday, October 08, 2010

THE JOKE IS ON ME

I’ve been duped by myself
My poems are sad jokes
The love that I felt
Was not yours or mine
But life’s lust for lifeBut I’m proud to be part
Of its sexy nonsense
Why fight its nature?
I’m done with that church
And its worship of doorsIn the end we succumb
By design we have needs
Best to find the like minds
And live the life you enjoy

Do what makes the heart happy
Go where life says to go
Dance more purely with your man
Let what will be truly be

Monday, October 04, 2010

BREATHE NOW

Everything is happening
Just the way it’s supposed to
Whether I knot my stomach
Hold my breath
Or free my heart of its chains
The pieces are already set in motion
I only have control over this moment
And the energy it will carry forward
No one drives a car looking backward
It’s all new terrain
I must breathe
And keep my eyes on the road

Sunday, October 03, 2010

CAN’T HIDE THE LIGHT

He delights me and stirs me
Excites and inspires
I can’t keep quiet about how I feel
Was it only a dream?
I designed it so well
After I see him
I glow for two days
I radiate love
I make men go weak
They ask me to marry
I almost say yes
Only one week
‘Til I’m back in the waves
I’ll toil on earth
‘Til I’m near Love again

UNSETTLED

Living too close to chaos
For comfort
Maybe it won’t all fall apart
Stop throwing bricks ahead on the path
Stack them beside you
Come up with a plan
Panic ensues when paths are not clear
Plans fall apart
Delays & bad news
But visions of love break up the fog
Glow a nice rainbow
From here to LA
Stare and absorb, feel and remember
Pain is temporary
A shadow on love
A poker for prodding
Get through it today
Maybe tomorrow will feel less heavy

Friday, October 01, 2010

LOVING OUT

You open me up
Like a flower
I become so sweet and moist
Playful and exuberant
Colorful and exposed
No man can resist
How does one man
Make me love the whole world?
How do you send me so far out
After bringing me so far in?
My heart dances after being with you
And everyone wants to dance along

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

UP AND UP

Now we’re going somewhere
This car’s picking up speed
No one’s moving back with their parents
It’s a crazy circus but the net’s still holding
I bounce upright, wave and smile to the crowd
Cheeks flushed red
Now I’m moving
Now they can see me
It’s only a matter of time
Before I’m top 20 under 40
Because I’m only secretary one day a week
And we’ve all got sugar to sell to those that have lemons
And once we leave our jobs, and follow our visions, and the whole world is drinking lemonade it will be so sweet
So refreshing
We’ll truly be fruitful then

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

SITTING

Enjoying the feeling
Of just sitting on my board
In a calm, clear ocean
Surrounded by fogHoping for a wave
But absorbing the peace and beauty
Of the power all around me
The currents gently rocking me
A chance to breathe and be

Monday, September 27, 2010

MOTIONLESS

Wish I had a bucket of zeal
I’d fling it across the universe
In dazzling colors and sparkles
It would fizzle and streak
And cause such delightBut alas
I am passionless
Aimless
And empty
Sad and pondering
Feeling untuggedIs this a place of perfection?
Of forces balanced?
Or is this a place of stagnation?
A place to escape?

Or is my heart just resting
From last week’s attacks?
Does the zebra, once pounced
Ever feel safe standing still?

No longer wanting to play dead
Or crawl in a hole
I’m peeking around
And no one’s paying attention

Climbed to the top
And it’s lonely up here
Wanna make more connections
Give people what they need

Wanna find what consumes me
Wanna sing until I die
Wanna be happy forever
Wanna fly in the skies

Saturday, September 25, 2010

GROWTH (65/1000)

The pace is maddening
The silence deafening
My heart is opening
You are stretching it

Friday, September 24, 2010

NEXT STEP?

What do I want?
What is the Universe suggesting to me?
I feel weightless
Unpulled
Not desiring
I need a clue
I’ve recycled my gifts fully already?
Is it time for a new education?
I get busy thinking
Researching
Computing
And the answers do not come
I lay here and be still
And the answers do not come
Am I forgotten?
Lost?
Trapped?
Did I wander off path?
Where is my guide?

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

MISSING YOU

You know you’re in hot water when two weeks feels like two lifetimes.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

ON FIRE (63/1000)

Blindly followed a calling to open a place of healing
To teach what made me well
To give back what I receivedAsked myself what I felt qualified to do
A need for hammer coaches?
I’d thrown pretty well in school
And learned a thing or twoIf you follow the passions that move you
You end up just where you’re needed
What the universe needs is your energy
Six billion of us on fire

Your experiences shape your future
When you let life touch you, you open a door
I have never felt so needed
So blessed
And craving for so much more

Thursday, September 09, 2010

TAPPING IN (62/1000)

Tapping into the emotions that stir
And squeeze my heart
Knot and freeze my belly
Clench my jaw
Furrow my brow
Learning to acknowledge more quickly
The storage of hazardous energy
Traps for the life force
That just wants to move me
Freeing my body from my thoughts
And the emotions that live by
Bubbling, clutching, stirring, pulling
As I allow myself to find and feel them more fully
They leave, satisfied

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

WANNA CONNECT (61/1000)

Walking a tightrope
Dangerous with tripping thoughts
As soon as you pause to think
You are gone
From the moment
Irrelevant to the conversation
Not dancing
From participant to observer
Or worse, critic
Whose mind ever came to genius
Under a hood

Monday, September 06, 2010

FROM BAGGAGE TO BLISS (60/1000)

Navigating fate’s narrow alleyways
Through puddles, danger, darkness and dim light
Clearing my mental fuzz with your brooms
In order to let what was always there
Reveal itself to me
Then the worldDo what excites you
Find out what sparks you
Engage the mysterious
Seek that which moves you
Read what delights you
Listen to what inspires you
Be what consumes you

Then shake the rest from your pockets like sand from the beach

Saturday, September 04, 2010

CARES TO THE WIND (59/1000)

No better landscape
For letting the winds move you
My presentation to the world
Is still too controlled
I don’t trust my own light
Because you don’t think it shines for you
Time to stop caring what you fear!

Friday, September 03, 2010

MIND EXPLORATIONS (58/1000)

You’re all helping me to see
What I’ve been fishing for
Crazy how your actions
Your passions, decisions
Swing you, pendulum-style
To the other corner of the universe
Still getting used to my new reality
New rules
New rewards
New punishments
You’re all helping me
To eventually stream my highest dreams
How did this vase get so dirty?

ART CAR (57/1000)

He makes me so excited
I get swept up in his currents
And soar, tumbling through the rapids and sharp rocks
Feeling bruised and exhausted
When I finally reach himBut what other kind of love should I imagine?
He’s everything I designed
But
There are holes in the dream
Like being so drunk there are missing pieces
And you worry about what might have happened
And what might resultSo I just keep dreaming in rainbows,
Cool showers, smiles & kisses
And when the black hole
Information voids tempt me
Toward destruction
I steer this art car back onto the
Road I want to travel

Where shall we go tonight?

Saturday, August 28, 2010

LET’S TALK (56/1000)

Threatened by the space and the lies it perpetuates
Tired of your assumptions
No-communication zones
It’d be one thing if you trusted me
Then talk would be for the birds
But you’ve said some things
That make me think you’re a tad delusional
My tongue can open doors
I can be sharp but I speak truth
No longer playing coy
My reputation’s on the line
Are you a man or just a boy?
Can you live in the land of hearts?
No more teasing
No more games
I’m ready and if you aren’t
I’ll move onto someone new
Can’t stand half-truths anymore
I spent nine years at that door
What are you waiting for?

 

THE NEXT LEVEL (55/1000)

You’ve got to stop it
It’s all an act
Relate to others authentically
Emotions are true
When you’re in love
Emotions in business
Need a guarded tongue
Make love your business
And trust reigns supreme
This is the world and the love of my dreams

APPROACHING PANIC (54/1000)

If I had known falling in love
Would be more terrifying
Than being alone
I may not have jumped in
Head first

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

LARGER (53/1000)

Why wouldn’t you be enough for me?

Baby you’ve got it all
I see myself in your deepest parts
The ones you take for granted
The tone of your voice, the curve of your hip
The way you dive in and apply yourself
The work that you’ve done
The life you aspire to
The things that you love
The passion when you speak
You’ve already inspired me
I’m already lifted
I’m living on your love
You don’t know your reach

Monday, August 23, 2010

LIKE THIS (52/1000)

I want to be loved like this forever
No matter who I’m with
I want to work like this forever
No matter what I’m doing
I want to dance like this forever
No matter who is watching
I want to live like this forever
In or out of this body bag

OPENING UP (51/1000)

It must be a magic trick

Pulling colored scarves
One after another

From your fist

You retrieve
From deep within
The best of me

Friday, August 20, 2010

ALMOST THERE (50/1000)

I am perfect, whole, and complete
And that feels like the truth
When I turn my analytics inward
I tear myself and you apart
Thank you for getting so close
That you turned me inside out
I needed to know
No matter what the villagers said
Or what you know or still don’t know
That I was beautiful now
Because I spent too many years
With one who didn’t love all of me

PREMATURE (50/1000)

Not afraid to be first
I put my dripping heart into your hands
Is it getting heavy?

BLESS THE DAY (49/1000)

They say character comes out most in a crisis
Well you got all my love, love, love
And I can’t have my sugar
I’ve been known to jump ship
For more stable ground
I’ve got enough vata to sail around the world
And your wind is blowing me in circles
So lie down now, sweet, sparkly, girl
Breathe
You’ve done all you could do today
All the universe wanted you to do
It will never be enough for you
But then, you don’t really know what you want, do you?

Thursday, August 19, 2010

DEVASTATED (48/1000)

How will I ever be a leader
Enslaved by my emotions?
I want the drama
But I don’t want it rocking my boat
I’m content to watch it
Like a landscape
From my peaceful ship
Back on a meditation mission
My happiness will not grow on this rocky ground

INFORMATION AGE (47/1000)

Why does he take up so much memory?
My RAM is shot
People meet with me
Just to hear the latest chapter
In my life story
Let’s keep it interesting!
I remember a first young love
Holding hands in the school hallway
That was so easy
Unlike falling for a celebrity
The information gap is enormous
How much time would one need
To get to know YOU?
And would it ever feel fair?
I need to dive in and out of you at will
No use living so close to the ocean
Otherwise

SWEET OXYGEN (46/1000)

You don’t understand
How much strength
I’ve had to muster
Not to throw myself at you
And rest against you
Pulsing
Like a magnet
The hourly fight
To clear my brain of this
Murky flood
Is won only by distraction
Total immersion
In anything else
If I open the window
Just a crack
I drown again

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

COMING DOWN (45/1000)

Not sure what else to do
So I will write down some words
Need to focus this mind of mine
Need some routines
Some direction
Counting money was grounding today
God knows I can’t be trusted to be
Responsibly emotional
So a clean room might be
The stable launching pad I need
For the days to come

UNCOMFORTABLE INACTION (44/365)

Feeling out fate
Images of the desert
Keep flashing across my mind
And I’m supposed to be there
The idea has been planted
So what’s my ticket?
I need this vine to grow another leaf
So I can take a step up
Why am I not being fed tonight?

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

PLAYTIME (43/1000)

A swirling fairydust
Cell melting
Spellbound fantasy feeling of total
Love, joy, excitement
Heart fluttering
Groin stirring
Mind blowing
Delicious passionate
Bliss-seeking
Survival-leaving
Weaving, squeezing, teasing
Hours-killing playtime

Monday, August 16, 2010

LIVE NOW (42/1000)

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves
This moment is all we’ve got
Fuck the next ice age and its glaciers
I’m moving to California
Where technology blooms
And cities sleep
And boys hold hands
With flowers in our hair
I came here to dream
So let’s paint all the minutes
With the warmth of our sunshine
And pack our bags when the weather gets cold

Saturday, August 14, 2010

DANCE PARTY (41/1000)

The deep deep bass
Blowing through my body
Allowing it to move me
Like so many influences
Making it beautiful
Keeping the rhythms
All the way home
Into my life
Onto your skin
I wish we all would dance
When the music plays

WHAT IF? (40/1000)

What if I were truly alive?
Where would my energy take me?
What would I look like?
Who would I meet?
Why don’t we just find out?

Friday, August 13, 2010

DREAMS OR DESTINY? (39/1000)

As a child
I dreamed I could fly
Faith as small
As a mustard seed,
They saidDoes it work through us?
Or do we dream it?I didn’t fly
For fifteen minutes
Even though I dreamt it
And yet
Against gravity
I built a house
A car
A palm tree
A beautiful business

Who runs this show?
And what are my dreams worth?
Action?
Or Creation?

Creator, tell me I am more than a tool
Lest my thoughts be merely currents
In the windstorm of existence

NOT ABOUT ANYTHING (38/1000)

Sweaty, half-smile
Made it a few miles
Ran some, inspired
Mixing it up slowly
A new being emerging
Ready for the glory
That was always mineMusic is
A solo experience
Like making love
A third person
Is just distracting
Why would I need more
Than me and my God?But these minds tend to wander
So the variety of pulses
From unexpected directions
Have a nudging effect
On the conveyor belt to bliss

That great unknown
Summation of what we were not meant to experience
In this life
Only write about
Sing about
Wonder about

As natural as copulation
As powerful as a kiss
Life is the most curious intense passion
This side of the sun

And we get to be it

Thursday, August 12, 2010

PISCES PICTURES (37/1000)

Close the door
And I’m
Intoxicated by your scent
Weak
My brain disconnected
You make me think in poetry
And dream in visions

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

TENDENCIES (36/1000)

What happened to not diminishing?
I see a bright light and I want to bask in it
When I should be growing in it

Monday, August 09, 2010

REDEFINING (35/1000)

Happy to be
Back in the game
Never knew it was still played
After 30
Feeling inspired
Challenged
Delighted
Feeling alive
More like myself
Now to keep me
While letting you in
Love and not lose me again

Saturday, August 07, 2010

ENTERTAINED (34/1000)

My life story delights me
More often than not
I wonder
How could this all have been written?
How is THIS perfect?
A writer somewhere is rofl to themselves
Glad to participate!

PACIFIED (33/1000)

The pacifier is back in my ears
Played a game of disinterest
For too many years
It wasn’t my game, but I got comfortable with it
Now to sit with a stranger
My mind races for words
Not sure of what suits the moment
The energy
I’m playing a new game
Where I’m guessing the rules
But music I can dance with

FLOWERING (32/1000)

Tired of the stagnation in my abilities to love
Take me up like a flower
Peel back my delicate petals
Let’s see what’s inside

Thursday, August 05, 2010

SOLDIERS OF PEACE (31/1000)

Misery was my steady companion
It missed me
So it jumped on my back
Seducing me
With its heavy blanket
Started whispering in my ear
Warping my thoughts
And twisting his words
I was finally happy
But it would have nothing of it
Sad felt grounding…
Comfortable…
Normal…
So I sank with it
Down just one step
Then two, then three
And soon found myself
Covered in despair
Thinking thoughts that felt foreign,
Petty, senseless, and desperate
So thank God for a friend
Who went there with me
And listened to my bewildered musings
Until the truth came to light
Of the load I was under
That I had put on myself
To wrongly feel good
So I threw off my misery
For the second time this year
And felt happy and free
And hopeful again
Now I see
More clearly
That normal is different
I must be vigilant
And guard my new happiness
With every soldier of peace that I’ve got

RESTED (30/1000)

A good night’s sleep
I’m ready for a new day
Content to go where I’m called
Without the tunnel vision

TETRIS (29/1000)

Something is changing
I feel uncomfortable
I feel good when I’m focused
On something external
But alone with my thoughts
I’m playing Tetris, not well

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

DEPRESSED (28/1000)

The last raindrops of the evening
Drip on me
With the energy of my ambitions
For the day
He doesn’t know
How much energy he stirs in me
How many lives
He has already altered
I was a hurricane in a bottle
For so many years
Protected
And I’m sick of stirring alone
I want to stir things up
All around me
I want you to feel me everyday
And if you don’t feel it too
I need to run away now
Because it aches to be apart
But it aches more to live without your touch
I’m a top that you set spinning
And now I’m wobbling
With no intention of falling over

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

SUPER MASSIVE HANGOVER (27/1000)

How do you explain to a person
How it feels to be knocked off your orbit
Hurtling through dark space
Fascinated by the glowing orbs all around you?
How do you tell your dealer
He’s got the sweetest drugs you’ve ever tasted
And expect him not to double the price
The moon’s in Taurus
I asked for your Sadge
What did I expect, a fucking tea party?

MORE (26/1000)

Just keep writing
A brain purge
Stuffed my mind with chemicals
And now it’s surging
What kind of fool
Reveals her weaknesses?
One that needs help
And cries to the winds
The shock of the city
Jolted my silence
The rush of endorphins
Ended my innocence
And it goes on…

Monday, August 02, 2010

HELP!! (25/1000)

Brain snatching
Whistle blowers
Spinning thoughts
Chemical mix
Jumped on the carousel
While it was spinning
Hanging on
But for how long?
Why do I meet with you?
What’s the fix?
Intellectual distraction?
A deep hole for diving?
Fuck the motorcycle
I want to fly to Jupiter
Obviously
The new skin is tearing apart
What the hell
Is underneath?

Friday, July 30, 2010

POET (24/1000)

Give me your dark
I can hold your sorrows
They always find me
Like a moth to a flameMy well is deep enough
My arms wide enough
My joy sufficient
To see us through

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

LIFTOFF (23/1000)

Once you learn to pilot the craft
These bodies can be lots of fun
It takes years to learn the controls, the brakes
The touch, finesse, and trust
The glory is in competition
With yourself or with another
Controlling your limbs
To control your world
Gives a thrill like no other

THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN (22/1000)

I thrilled today
In the death of a giant
Its mighty crash
Scared the cattle away
That it should choose me
As its only witness
Made me humble and proud
And full of respect
I tiptoed around it
And tasted its blood
As it dripped from the roots
That finally gave way
Rest in peace
On the meadow
You died with a bang
We all turn to dust
Eventually

ODE TO MUSIC (21/1000)

And when I had slayed the final dragon
I pointed the sword unto myself
After a lifetime of war
The enemies are always near
Peace is deafening
Maddening
Unwilling to sit in silence
Torturing myself
I summoned the birds
Who sang of lands traveled
And carried me into tomorrow

NATURE’S WISH (20/1000)

Too cold to sleep
The bears wander by
Ominous
But they just want me to be happy

HOLD THIS MYSTERY (19/1000)

Let’s see
If I can hold this mystery
Without giving in to
The lies
I keep telling myself
About myself
If this is a test
Let me be satisfied
That my cup is full
And runneth over
And let myself
Really explore
My new happiness
Without shitting in it
What if I really was
All I dreamed I could be?

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

OPEN AIR (18/1000)

Enjoy where you get planted
On a ledge by a waterfall
Getting showered by the mist
While rainbows light the air
Sometimes you have to grin and bear it
When there’s no work to be done
Except a grounding and a listening
And peeking into wildflowers
There’s a whole new world inside
That you could lose yourself into
Spend the minutes counting money
Or the specks on monkey flowers
Is it really all the same?
Is the point just to be happy?
When there’s pride in small advances
What the mind and hands create
Where’s the pleasure in the pleasure?
Can I be happy with less and less?
Will the natural abundance
Ever compare to my mind’s treasures?
Simple thoughts thrown to the sky
I may be spinning but I’m fine
Soon enough I’ll come back down
And be the ringmaster again

Monday, July 26, 2010

CAMP MATHER (17/1000)

On the long ride into the valley
You came along with me
I saw you at the campfire
While the children sang their songs
I walked into the mountains
And you hiked along beside me
We tasted wild mint and raspberries
Breezes danced upon our skin
At night you laid beside me
While I gazed up at the moon
Bathing on the picnic table
Taking in the silver light
In the shower I showed you frogs
That peeked out of the handles
While swimming in the lake
I held a turtle up for you
When I shivered in the morning
You held me tight and kept me warm
You sprinkled me with kisses as I played out in the sun

Saturday, July 24, 2010

ON FIRE (16/1000)

No longer willing to diminish
The wind turns a thousand turbines around me
Energizing my cells into synchronous
Firing
Who could resist?

Thursday, July 22, 2010

MEET ME THERE (15/1000)

It’s all just an act
The differences between you and me
I wanna be the one you trust
To be naked with
To be honest and vulnerable with
Because it softens you
And makes you glow
Radiating that love
Casts a spell of beauty
That transfixes
And lifts the beholder to a higher frequency
Damn, girl!

NEXT (14/1000)

I don’t want to rummage through closets anymore
Give me a shiny window-mirror
A smooth ride with an open heart

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

A WARNING (13/1000)

What I’ve got is so good
You will get addicted
I’m warning you now
My love is like ecstasy
So few men have moved me
To shower them with love
Bring fruit to my temple
And honor my gifts

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

MOVE OVER (12/1000)

The fog rolls in, blanketing my insecurities
One kiss and a new world opened up
What will I do with my freedom?
I’m sick of my doubts
I’m getting glimpses of the new me
And she’s who I want to beI was made for today

I’m getting out of my own way

Monday, July 19, 2010

WATER VISION (11/1000)

We’re a little higher than the bed
Two bodies intertwined
Surrounded by water
We rotate gently, shifting together
Not sinking
Not floating
Just cradled by the ocean

DREAMING? (10/1000)

It’s Christmas in July
My heart sings and sings
It’s been a long time coming
Please don’t let this be a dream

Saturday, July 17, 2010

WONDERING (9/1000)

I guess a girl like me
Could fall in love four times a year
And be perfectly happy to bond
With every inch of her heartThe thing about monogamy
For years and years on end
Is a necessary stability
Whilst other things are changingA sort of simple firm foundation
For the babies and life changes
For the ups and downs, life crises
Through sickness and in health

It sometimes helps to ponder why
You settled down just when you did
Did that person rock your world?
Did it make sense from the beginning?

I am curious to know
Which paths maximize love best
From sweet beginning to sweet ending
When just one love is not your calling

When our only template is infinity
It hurts to love less long
But on the bright side, dating me seems to have a marrigable effect on my suitors once they move on

So horray for their chains and bliss
And horray for my life’s love song
May our beds be ever warm
And our hearts be full and strong

Friday, July 16, 2010

TUMBLE SPIN (8/1000)

I can’t sleep
I can’t eat
You just unlocked my dreams
I’m distracted
And worthless
You’re my new favorite movie

Thursday, July 15, 2010

LIGHT HEART (7/1000)

Last week
All the sad songs sounded new
Now my heart sails on every soaring note
Love is truly a state of mind
When you feel loved
The whole world walks in your light

WHITE HOT (6/1000)

There’s a white-hot fire
Stoked by my heart
It dances, cautiously
As I lie down
Lighting the room with a soft glow
And then there’s me
Basking in the cool warmth
Hoping the orchids around me will grow

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

SPENDING (5/1000)

Moving in a swirly bubble
Holding my gold magic wand
Waving sparkles into being
Floating in an information void

Monday, July 12, 2010

COMPUTING SOLO (4/1000)

We are victims of our brains
They tell us lies when they’re afraid
They say you cannot live on love
They say you gotta protect #1
The people you exclude could one day save your life
Whatever it takes, stretch your arms open wide
Stop drowning in that sea of possibilities

THE UNVEILING (3/1000)

You’re like my statue
My idol
I keeping chipping away
At everything you’re not
And I can’t wait
To see who is underneath

Saturday, July 10, 2010

JUST LEAVE (2/1000)

I keep having imaginary conversations with you. They make me mad, they make me cry. My pulse races. I believed in you for so long. My ego won’t let you fail. I’m the hung jury and the reluctant judge. You entered my courts with praise and I threw away the key. I will breathe you out, eventually. Please just leave.

Friday, July 09, 2010

WISH #1 (1/1000)

A muse and a servant
Passion’s handyman
My black eyed angel
Feeling love’s vibrations

 

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