Incarceration and Independence

Just had a thought about parts versus the whole: The more independent you believe a person (or a system) is, the more likely you are to punish them if they fail. This may explain why the US has the highest incarceration rates IN THE WORLD. The old west attitude of “I pulled myself up by my bootstraps” fosters this attitude of severe independence that is not balanced with society as a whole.

Republicans are fond of highlighting business owners who started a profitable business “all on their own”. In fact, no one can create a business in a void. There are usually landlords, suppliers, regulatory agencies, and of course, CLIENTS.

The Republican party is also fond of such statements that favor the individual over the collective, such as gun control, anti-abortion, and smaller government.

It’s like our politics is personifying this ego vs. collective dynamic balance to the extremes.

The democratic side tends to look out for the whole group: social services, bigger government, more taxation of wealthy to balance the economic pain, recognizing that some people are profiting at the other’s expense.

I’m not saying either extreme is correct, but I’m definitely siding more toward the holistic or “whole picture” model over individual. This does come at a cost, and democracy is correct to balance group needs with individual needs, as we wouldn’t want to lose freedoms granted to individuals. However, sometimes the price for freedom is incarceration, rather than rehabilitation and identifying causal factors.

Slow Down

So, the universe got me stoned this weekend and stopped my heart, then had me watch a 2-year-old for 6 hours the next day, then early this morning sent me this message:

“Fast takes longer when you hurry, Christina. Keep calm and saunter on.”

I had to start getting more sleep and stop drinking coffee last week after I developed health problems (staph infection) within a week of no rest and coffee drinking, that were subsequently cured by rest and vitamins.

Ok, I think I get the message, Universe, thank you!!


We experience what we think about
Our stuff reflects us
Your phone, your computer, your car
All built
To be navigated with the human mind
We get a picture of who we are
From the objects and systems
We build
What do our politics say about our minds?
What do our electronics say about our minds?
What do our families, our stores, our cities, say about our minds?

A Whole New Body, from the Ground-Up

When I went back for my “high school” reunion in North Dakota, after having been gone for 16 years (I left in the 6th grade but my BF was running the reunion), my BF’s mom immediately recognized me. By the way I walk.

I didn’t give it much more thought until about 2 months ago, when I realized I’d been walking too “heavy” my entire life. Well, not only had I been walking too heavy on my flat feet, but I also had been walking “heavy” like a supermodel, one foot in front of the other.

I learned something really valuable this week:

If one walks one foot too close to the other foot, one puts a lot of stress on the low back.

I didn’t/couldn’t realize how much stress my low back had been in until I started walking like I was on a set of hip-width railroad tracks 2 days ago. It felt like I was walking with my legs WAAAY far apart, but really, my feet were directly under my hips.

When I was a little girl, I had seen a TV show that explained how supermodels walk. I assumed that was some standard of beauty and I decided to walk like that from then on. The result of that decision was quite terrible: I developed bull-leggedness, and created quite a lot of torque in my lower spine that ultimately contributed to a severe weightlifting injury to a disk in the low back during college.

The first day I started walking with my feet a normal distance apart from each other, I noticed two things:

1. My low back immediately felt soothed, like it had more room, like it could relax.

2. I noticed that I got more approving looks from people. This is subtle and prone to bias, but I really think the way I used to walk probably looked unathletic and a bit weird. Now I’m looking more stable/powerful, even just a couple days in.

I don’t know how long it will take to adjust to the new way of walking. My bones in my lower legs will have to change shape, which will likely take up to 7 years. I have time, haha.

Valet Musings

Wondering together
What does life need?
More energy?
More food?
Less consumption?
Less people?
More compassion
Less ego
It depends on who we are
And where we are going
And history will not have clues
For the decisions we’ll face
When we live outside our bodies
And nature throws us her curves
And will anything we talk about matter
When our shit hits the fan

Too much drama? Kill it (with kindness). A biological solution.

The older and wiser I get, the more I find myself distanced from drama.

There’s a biological reason for this. Are you ready?

If you closely analyze drama, it looks a lot like a sympathetic nervous system response: fight or flight. Drama is one person attacking another person, and that other person either fighting back or changing the subject, leaving, or being passive aggressive: Fight or flight.

Think of a roommate/lover drama situation you’ve found yourself in. You felt attacked. At that point you have a choice: let your “instincts” kick in – fight or flight.


You can exercise option number 2: Listen, Love, and Problem-Solve.

Love is the only solution to drama.

I had someone admit to me recently: “Yeah, I’m having a lot of drama with my roommate, but it’s whatever, because I don’t care about her that much anyway.”


That admission is the source of all your drama with that roommate. Even if you haven’t said it straight out to her, she senses you don’t care about her. People are more sensitive than they like to show. She can tell by your actions and reactions that you don’t care about her, so she can’t give you a “Listen, Love, and Problem-Solve” response to anything you say, because she knows it won’t be returned. Instead, you get a fight or flight response from her.

And you get drama.

Someone told me recently that I appear “strategic” in my responses to people, as if my intelligence allows me to navigate personal conflicts. No! It is my COURAGE, not my intellect, that allows me to remain calm and not get caught up in drama.

You see, it is SCARY when someone appears to attack you with their words, or their silence! They may accuse you of something, they may say hurtful things, they may seemingly tell you they don’t love or care about you by what they say or do.

But if you truly love and care about a person, you have the COURAGE to look past their words and find the kernels of truth and the love behind what they are expressing. Always look for the good in a person, and you will find it.

It takes COURAGE to believe that you can get along with anyone. That you won’t be rejected by anyone. That you will never lose someone’s love. You must always act AS IF you will never lose someone’s love in order not to lose someone’s love. Understand?

It takes COURAGE not to go on the defensive when someone goes on the offensive against you. That’s why they say fools defend and offend.

The wise remain calm and look for creative ways to love, creative ways to solve problems. Getting caught up in drama taxes your nervous system and wastes your energy. And you don’t have energy to waste, right?

Keep calm and carry on.

And have the COURAGE to love, the courage to care, to look past our most primal nervous instincts that once kept us alive, but now keep us apart.

Dust In the Wind?

All we are is light
Getting excited
About taking us to another level

Billions of
Layered over rainbows

All we are
On a cellular level
Is light moving very quickly

And if you can bring yourself
To the frequency of a dog
Of a cat
Or a baby
Your own heart
A blade of grass

You’ll notice that
Underneath those symphonies of frequencies
Exists a layer of being
That feels a lot like light.

And how does light feel?

It feels like air
Like water
Like sound
Like love.

And if we can relate to each other on the level of light,
You’ll find just a lot of bouncing around
A lot of give and take,
A lot of doing whatever comes naturally,
Boldly, freely, without pause,
Reflection, or company.
A lot of being and doing.
A lot of trust,
Hearts wide open
Communing with all that is.

A song you’re always in the mood for,
A dance to a rhythm you were born with,
A colorful, powerful orgasm across the universe.

Experiment Updates, Piano-Playing

Just a few life observations:

Have had the most productive two weeks of my life in recent history, may or may not be a coincidence that I’ve been abstinent for two weeks. Men can be a wonderful distraction from your life’s work if you use them in that way. Abstinence/productivity relationships, hmmm.

Have been trying to play a new piano hymn every night. I think I’m on 5, and it’s been 2 weeks, but, hey, it’s a start. My roommate and my cat both seem to really enjoy my playing so that’s nice. Especially because my cat hates it when I sing.

My foot experiment is still going well. I think I’m on week 5/6 now and still not fully habituated in the new way of walking but it’s getting smoother. I was so pleased to see my new lovely footprints on the beach this weekend.

I created a website to start to show people how I fixed my flat feet:

My 20/20 eye experiment is great but difficult. Made all the more difficult by the fact that I spend so much time these days at a screen, it is really hard to let the eyes re-adjust to a distant object after 3 hours of hardcore concentration. I need to set timers for mobile and laptop use I guess for distance refocusing and blinking.

Lalalala life goes on…

Still Me

I know I shouldn’t complain
But sometimes life feels so loooong
Especially when I’m tired
Then I wonder
How many more days, months, years
Do I have to put up with me?
I’m a bit bored of me already
She’s such a goody-goody
Eternally ambitious
She’s wearing me out

What is Going On???

Walking past Civic Center tonight, I’m wondering what the heck is going on there. There are all these strange-shaped temporary buildings up for some kind of event that looks interesting but I haven’t even heard about it.

It seems like the internet has past its point of usefulness to me. Once you have access to all the events and all the parties all the time, you somehow again find yourself with no access to the information you need to make a decision, as it’s all buried in the other information. You then find yourself relying on talking to people again to find out stuff. “What? You didn’t see that on my Facebook page?” No! I never see anything useful on Facebook anymore, unless someone directly brings it to my attention or they just happen to be in my fab five algorithm or however the hell Facebook is promoting status updates these days.

Sometimes, less IS more.