Her stories

She digs through the trash
Afraid to just ask
She plays detective
Tapes the shreds of paper back together
Both flattered and hurt by what she reads
She’s a little stronger now

Playing a scientist
She’s obsessed with the truth
Can’t relate to a human
Operating system beyond logic
She sees the world in binaries
And gets angry a lot

She wants the world to be other than it is
Her actions become futile
Her stories, irrelevant
She spins her wheels
And waits for a savior
Grabbing at shiny objects and holding on to them too long

Her bravery overcame her
Too big for the bank account
She folded
Learned to be brave in new ways
Ask a stranger for subway fare
Then, the bravest, accepting a partner


Authenticity is becoming more relevant in society, and it seemed to be the theme of the Grammy award winners this year.

BeyoncĂ©’s Drunk in Love, my least favorite song of the year, won for R&B. I can only speculate that it’s because she seemed to let her hair down a bit in that song. It was like hearing the living room version of BeyoncĂ©: drunk, intimate conversations between her and her husband and, er, ebonics.

A big winner for the night was Sam Smith, who I’ll admit I didn’t *get*. He’s too sappy for me, a true Cancer male. I wrote him off my radar after hearing his songs for the first time. But his most touching speech revealed that he finally got the traction he desired by “being himself,” rather than trying to lose weight and any other number of things that gets Hollywood’s attention. Apparently, he is a well-loved songwriter in Hollywood so I think that explains his popularity even more. But his songs do feel like very personally *his* songs…it’s a true expression, one that just happens not to suit my taste, no matter how catchy!

I was disappointed for Iggy Azalea, whose songs were all over the radio in 2014. But she seems to get blasted constantly in the media for her “authenticity.” And it really makes one question what is authenticity, when a white rapper comes on the US scene from Australia, sporting a southern black accent and language. Conversely, Eminem won the best rapper award, and has proved his “authenticity” by bringing back his old homophobic and violent lyrics and not showing up to grab his award ;-)

Many years ago, I remember someone speculating that the jobs in the “next economy” would require more specialization; that is, it would be important for each person to bring their unique gifts to the marketplace, since, after automization of most routine jobs, the remaining jobs would become more niche. I think this is happening, and it calls for a higher level of authenticity, of knowing one’s self. Because it is hard to market yourself to employers when you don’t know who you are!

Financial psychic Andrrea Hess talks about your “authentic self” being the most profitable self also. The New Age community talks a lot about your soul purpose, which sounds a lot like “things that make you happy.” And while I think every dream is not necessarily monetizable, it does make sense that you are going to be more persistent and determined to succeed doing things you love to do.



Resolutions are too quaint
This year is a Renaissance
Covered in paint and red glitter
Needing to create
Consuming too much

Getting back in touch with energy
Developing a mindset–no, a mind flow
Talking to the universe
Not always fighting

Were the dark ages caused by men’s minds
Turning to darkness?
Or did the light warriors lay down and die?

Well, this is my Renaissance

Cat Consciousness

I picked up her urn tonight
Just to feel her weight again
And imagined her current state of consciousness
Now that she no longer has a cat body
And I wonder
Since you can experience sugar’s highly vibrating crystal consciousness by eating sugar
Psychedelic mushroom consciousness by eating a mushroom
If she has acute awareness now
Having swallowed death into her veins
Of being formless
And if she counts her life in millennia instead of minutes
And if she yearns to die to her nothingness
And experience life again