Hard town to live in

I've had a real interesting day today. My craigslist post for a new massage therapist led me to a therapist who tried for 3 years to live on a typical therapist wage here of 20K per year and was fed up. She said most therapists have to really hustle for clients and still have to work 2 other jobs…i can relate to that!

Tonight, i passed a young man quietly begging for money on the corner. I went past him into a restaurant and watched the street for a while. He had a small pizza box open with some pennies in it on the ground in front of him. After about 10 minutes, he stood up for a while, then a gust came along and blew the box up and over, scattering the pennies. He looked listlessly at the overturned box for a moment, then began pushing at the pennies with his skater sneakers. Then, he just turned and left without picking up anything.

Within 2 minutes, every last penny had been snatched off the ground by passersby. It was strange to watch a beggar let the money go, while poor, non-beggars devoured it like treasure.

It just reminded me again of how difficult it is to survive in this town for most people.

Hygiene Queen

As I constantly look to improve every process in my life, I discovered tonight a new face-washing routine that I like so far. I use a moisturizing cleanser and a washcloth. I used to splash my face with water before putting on the cleanser, but I've found that applying cleanser first really lets the soap grab onto the skin cells more effectively. Then, instead of making a big mess splashing water onto my face and blindly trying to guess which parts of my face still have globs of soap left, I gently wipe off the cleanser with a warm, wet washcloth. I make 3 passes with the cloth, rinsing it in between with successively cooler water to close the pores back up. I then apply my toner & moisturizer. Ahhh, I feel clean!

All Is Full of Love

You’ll be given love. You’ll be taken care of. You’ll be given love. You have to trust it.

Maybe not from the sources you’ve poured yours into.

Maybe not from the directions you are staring at.

Twist your head around, it’s all around you. All is full of love.

All around you. You just ain’t receiving. All is full of love.

Your phone is off the hook. All is full of love.

Your doors are all shut. All is full of love

~Bjork, All Is Full Of Love (LP Version)

I’m exploring my yoga name more lately (Bhakti), and I’m finding that it truly is the perfect name for me. Not because I personify it, but because I NEED to personify it. Bhakti means devotion. It means seeing God, or Love in everything. Constantly thinking of God/Love.

The above lyrics from Bjork really say it all. They are along the same lines as some of the Hafiz poetry I have read, and most consider Hafiz to be a great Bhakti Yogi. He was able to see the beauty, God/Love in everything, and therefore lived in a state of bliss, even ecstasy.

Bhakti is such a good name for me because its opposite is ego and effort, the 2 things which have defined my life to date. The goal of Bhakti yoga is to eradicate ego and selfish effort, and just surrender to God/Love. The example given was that of a baby monkey clinging to its mother’s belly, versus the kitten surrendered to its mother as she carries it in her mouth. I think my purpose in life is to reach an understanding of God/Love not through effort, but through surrender of the ego and selfish aims.

On her

Today I'm wearing an Express cami, Victoria's Secret undies, Lane Bryant capris, Old Navy long-sleeved tee, and flip flops from Target. Yes that's the most inspiration I've had for blogging in a long time.