Paranoia is the compiling of and focus on observed synchronous factors in support of a fear-based hypothesis.
Lessons becoming very clear today:
1. Never be too proud to work a job “beneath” your level of education. Supervisor at valet job commented he was doing payroll this week, I thanked him in advance, and he said, “Thank YOU, for working. Because you are willing to work, I get paid to supervise and do payroll.”
I thought that was pretty cool.
2. We intuitively know what others need, we have to create the peaceful, quiet, receptive environment in which desires can surface and be met with completion. This is a natural process which takes time, time that is normally rushed in a work week full of tasks and activities. There is a certain pace which is more conducive to individuals coming together to get their needs met. This rhythm is most easily found when immersing oneself in nature, i.e., tuning out of routine noises and tasks and tuning into the rhythms of the breezes, birds chirping, water falling, etc.
3. You can choose the interpretation of your experience of life as either a victim of your environment, or a master of your environment. The truth is somewhere along the spectrum. But if you act as though you are the master of your environment, you make it more so. This is because you take responsibility for any outcomes you see around you and work to change everything within your power to suit your vision of happiness. Conversely, one who blames and criticizes his/her environment gives power to the environment and makes the victim more impotent.
Cleaning my room today, found this “birthday card” a stranger in a coffee shop made for me and came over to my table to deliver.
Inside: “From M & L”
Whoever you are :)
Under the full moon
Full, like my heart
Bright, like our future
The world is my playground
Just when life couldn’t possibly get any better
It does and it did
And I’m here filled with joy
And now you’re all coming
To share in the feast
We’ve been preparing in my mind
And like Marshall Mathers
I never dreamt in a million years i’d see
Who share the same views
And the same exact beliefs
Like a gathering of fuel
For a huge, sacred fire
Time for a contemplative post. I tend to get thoughtful when I’m sick, in this case a throat irritation, probably from breathing in dust/animal waste cleaning out the attic the past 2 days.
On my mind these days are relationships, romantic ones. I’m more and more beginning to identify with polyamory, which to me means that love isn’t necessarily something that needs to be shared/deepened with just one person in your life. I’m finding I have the capacity to love more than one man/woman romantically and doing so is quite satisfying, delightful, and enlightening.
Developing relationships in parallel gives me the opportunity to stay fresh (I can tend to lock into routine/staleness as a default with someone who is always accessible) and work on being the kind of lover and friend I want to be from different angles. It’s wonderful to feel free to meet whomever delights you and see where that relationship may take you. I find that the best-fitting relationships take me closer to myself and my already-good relationships, and the not-so-good ones tend to just fizzle.
I’m still working on issues like judging others for whom they’re seeing and why, or twinges of jealousy, but with self-examination I’m getting glimpses of my hypocrases and slowly becoming more cool and comfortable just going with the flow.
I think that in the past I have not been very discriminatory about who I dated, in the sense that I wasn’t strong enough in my own sense of my needs that I was willing to ask and receive what I wanted/needed out of relationships. I feel I’m getting more authentic in expressing what I’m feeling and not trying to be so passive/observant (another default).