Evangelist (144/365)

Don’t preach to me
It smells like fear
I’m living in peace
And that’s a choice
I drank your wine
It tasted like pride
I shed that coat
Walked a thousand miles
I listened and learned
That I can’t swallow love
When it’s wrapped in fear
Words ring hollow
From an empty soul
Misery loves company
And I’m a loner

Precious

I just watched the movie "Precious." It was the most depressing film I have ever watched. It was as if the author of the book set out to produce the most horrifying depiction of family life ever written. My heart is heavy and I am feeling like life must truly be a game. We get breathed into a body and we have to overcome its special circumstances and limitations before we can move onto the next level. I feel like I’m outside my body right now.

I thought for a minute about my "wheel of life." Remember my post from 3 years ago, when everything in my life was good except for my health? Fast forward to today and the spoke in question is no longer my health, but my finances. Would you trade money for health? I did! But I realize I am being taught lessons about money I might never have learned while flush (or those lessons may have had bigger consequences).

I also thought about my job as a coach, and how I am so eager to share my knowledge while I am probably the one who will be learning the most out of all of us.

Thinking about how the circumstnces in our lives lead us to ever higher or lower positions depending on how we do in each challenge. Knowing we all have a fatal flaw that keeps us from ever winning the gme and yet we play day after day. Whose game is it?

Stress (142/365)

False starts
Why didn’t I plan ahead?
I love eating breakfast
At home
At the table
I love paying bills
On time
Knowing my balance
So why do I fail?
What circumstances
Need me to suffer?
Will it all turn out better
If my mind stays relaxed?
Or will my punishment be incomplete
Without stress?