Just when you think your mental issues are pretty much resolved…

This evening, a nice young man who I see a few times a week at work sat down next to me while we were eating and put his hand on my shoulder then made like circular motions on my back. It was a very unconscious gesture, much like I have used with the 5-year-old that lives with us, but it had a strong effect on me.

I realize I don't get touched that often, especially by people with really good energy, and it had such a nurturing, warming effect on me I almost started feeling sorry for myself, while instantly craving more touch like an addict. It was like a bursting oxytocin release and I couldn't even think or speak for a second when he asked me a simple question.

I've said about myself that I often fight the urge to start massaging a totally random strangers' shoulders when they sit in front of me in public. I do get to do this with my roommates though, and last night when I did K's shoulders spontaneously for 5 minutes she practically offered to do my dishes for a year to keep going. Like me, she is a bit touch starved right now too.

I was a bit off-ended by the random healing touch received today, which disturbed me. I felt a bit like the neglected Russian orphans, scared of touch. Scared of their own reactions to it.

Either I need to get some bodywork soon or make some more friendly friends. Sometimes I forget how powerful and necessary touch is (even as a trained massage therapist!). Ugh. Wish I was in London right about now…