The Inbetween

I wonder how valuable all this blog stuff is. There are so many good books written by people who took their whole lives to synthesize, sort, and filter their experience, and distilled it into nuggets. I realize that my blog posts are more like the thoughts you have on the way to a conclusion. These could potentially be helpful to someone, as they are more relate-able perhaps, but they are really just noise with hints at wisdom.

There’s some kind of transition in the air toward reserve, discretion. This is really challenging for me. I’ve never liked the don’t give the pearls to the pigs approach. I guess because it assumes a disparity in spiritual growth that cannot be bridged immediately. And I am realizing how immediate my demands are in general. I hate waiting. When I receive information, I want to immediately spray it around my universe with a fire hose.

What an amazing opportunity we have been given to explore life through a very specific lens. My lens being that of a human woman, with unique experiences and tendencies. It’s hard to reconcile this experience with the innate memory of being one with the entire universe in omniscience, omnipresence, and omnipotence. The contrast of that oneness with the human experience feels extremely limiting sometimes. I’m coming to a place of knowing what my highest qualities could be, and yet also knowing exactly how big that gap is in my practical application. It’s daunting, and brings back the “God is a cruel game-maker” analogy. All the more reason to be kind and loving toward each person you meet. If you go through what i go through in terms of mental anguish sometimes, you could use a lot of support and compassion too.