Today ended up being such a strange day, after two magical whirlwind days. I seemed to go head-to-head with some Scorpios in my life, who have been struggling, feeling fearful, and hiding their emotions. My reaction has been arguing with their negative energy and when it climaxes, pushing them away, far away. I am at such a peaceful, positive place in my life that negative energy is simply unwelcome. I sometimes wish I were a more kind and compassionate person around fearful vibes, but my nature, my instinct, is to instigate, expose and banish/transform rather than to soothe fearful energy.
I also seem to be recycling energy of past relationships. Last fall I dated someone eerily similar to a man I dated in college 10 years ago (my “extended fling”, and within the same non-committed context). This week I found myself with someone who had very similar characteristics to my 9-year relationship partner, only instead of repeating the past exactly I instead chose the opposite route of not accepting a man’s possessive ownership or his way of doing things. At all costs I am striving not to repeat my past mistakes. If “lessons in life are repeated until learned,” at least I am not doing the same things and expecting a different result. Thankfully this new person has recognized that I have in his words “a pure heart,” and that if I push him away it is not in malice. I think only in this way of being really honest with each other can we more quickly realize who we are and who we are not, and what more can you ask of this life? We all just want to grow and form a steady knowledge of ourselves, a sort of firm foundation on which we confidently stand and begin to give of our talents most efficiently to the world.
“I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone.” Alanis Morisette