Starting Over

Deeply present
With the nothingness I felt in her
The profound sense of a today
That’s been violently shook of its yesterday and tomorrow
A blank canvas
A swept room
A register at zero
An orphan, a widow
A traveler in a vast landscape
Not ready to dream
Still grieving my murders
The children I’ve drowned
The lessons I’ve learned
Never felt so naked
In front of the world
Never wanted so badly
To find out who I am