I did an experiment yesterday that turned out very well! I found myself in a position where I was starting to worry about what someone was going to say to me. They had called a few times and I always expect the worst.
Usually in this scenario, my mind starts racing forward and backward, like "what did i do wrong?" or "what’s going to happen next?" I found myself tense, clenching my teeth, breathing very shallow, and realized I had just walked a block and didn’t remember walking past anything.
So I just started looking around at stuff while I walked. I intentionally started to notice things I wouldn’t have noticed before. And all my stress went away! I realized that for all my worrying and planning what I should do next, or what they might say, I had no control over it in the moment ,so I was better off just forgetting about it and live in the moment.
And, don’t you know, it ended up not being a big deal at all. When the person called, I was genuinely in a good mood, not defensive, not reactive. I believe that by changing MY state of mind, that it actually altered the resulting situation in my favor. Of course, I’d have to repeat this feat to prove that hypothesis, but from observational experience, I believe it will work.
Worrying is simply your brain over-working. It gains you nothing and clouds your rational thought and paralyzes the intuitive abilities. You must force the brain to concentrate on the here and now.
I believe this tendency of the brain to overwork fearful stimuli is a big factor in self-destructive behaviors like cutting, drinking, and smoking. People that intentionally cause themselves pain are totally present-minded for that brief period. Others drink to slow the brain down, or smoke to focus the brain. All are trying to overcome the same tsunami of negative thoughts that can wash over a person.