Having Trouble Adapting

Is it like the time I bought a ticket to Hawaii?

And he said “I wanted to be the one to take you to Hawaii”

“I promise to take you there, just put the ticket on hold.”

Or is it like the time I woke up in San Francisco?

31 years old

Children scattered all over

Dead and alive and frozen

Pining for my years in Africa

When I was a mother most of my life

Valued for my love and beauty

And the teacher


Planned parenthood symbolizes everything I hate about modern life

Its complexity

Its hard decisions

Its sterile hospitals

Its science and arrogance

Its planning and waiting

And waiting

And chemicals

Its detachment from living things, their imperfections, their organic timing

Its conflicting messages


Lucky to have been born free

In a country and a time where anything is possible

Where HOPE is possible

But hard to live inside a fabulous

Life-giving machine

When everyone keeps making rules for what to do with it

Then throwing monkey wrenches into it

Stalling it

Harvesting it

Manipulating it

I don’t appreciate the tinkering

I don’t know where this is going