My Poetry
RELATIONSHIPS ARE COMPLICATED
~19~
Dear H
Ain't it strange how fate can play a part in the story of your heart? Ain't it funny how a moment could just change your life, and you don’t want to face what’s wrong or right?
I locked away my heart but you just set it free. Every time our eyes meet, there’s a feelin’ inside me; it’s almost more than I can take. The smell of your skin, the taste of your kiss...Baby when you touch me, I can feel how much you love me, and it just blows me away. It feels like the first time, every time. Let’s take a chance and try love, baby. We’re walking on sunshine in the middle of the night, and it feels like I’m somewhere above the sky.
Oh, I wish this could be real-this perfect romance that I’ve created in my mind. But yet we find ourselves in a less-than-perfect circumstance. I’ve never loved someone way that I’m loving you. I’m falling in and out of love with you. Sometimes I love you; sometimes you make me blue. Sometimes I feel good; sometimes I feel used. Loving you, darling, makes me so confused.
Sometimes I think that a true love can never be. I just believe that somehow it wasn’t meant for me. There are facts in our lives we can never change, and so it seems like we'll never have the chance. I pushed you far away and yet you stayed with me. I guess this means that you and me were meant to be…
I’ve never felt this way. How do you give me so much pleasure, and cause me so much pain? I never really wanted you to see the screwed up side of me that I keep locked inside so deep. Just when I think I’ve taken more than would a fool, I start fallin’ back in love with you.
And you always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting: “We can make it last forever, baby; our love can stand the test of time…In heaven’s name, why are you walking away? It’s so easy to walk out on love. You gotta hold on longer if you want your love to grow. Just tell me that you understand and feel the same...I’ve got some imperfections, but how can you collect them all and throw them in my face? Why can’t you just forgive me? I don’t want to re-live all the mistakes I’ve made along the way.”
That's alright, let's give this another try…satisfied and empty inside. Ain’t it strange when you’re feeling things you shouldn’t feel? Ain't it funny how some feelings you just can't deny, and you can't move on, even though you try? And you're so independent, you just refuse to bend, so I keep bending 'till I break.
Someday you're going to be hungry and eating all the words that you just said. I am what I am. I am 32 flavors and then some. I'm taking my chances as they come. I'm looking for truth and there is none.
Looking back at me I see that I never really got it right. What I really meant to say is I'm sorry for the way I am. I never meant to be so cold to you…never meant to be so cold. And I can’t hate you, though I have tried. And I would like to state for the record: I did everything that I could do. I still really, really love you. Love is stronger than pride. I still really, really love you. Lay your hand on me one last time. Show me how it ends, it’s alright.
(February 9, 2006)
Song Lyric Credits
Jennifer Lopez – Ain’t It Funny
Lonestar – Amazed
Jennifer Lopez – Walking on Sunshine
Alicia Keys – Fallin’
Sade – Hang On To Your Love
Staind – Right Here
Breaking Benjamin – So Cold
Ani DeFranco – 32 Flavors
Crossfade – Cold
Sade – Love is Stronger than Pride