The Futility of War (36/365)

You shouldn't watch war movies
Pumped up on testosterone
I'm too pretty
To feel like a destroyer
I fought my wars
The war at home
Then the war against
Anything
To prove I could conquer
I disciplined myself
I trained like a warrior
And lived on adrenaline
Until I couldn't breathe
Without pain
Then I died to my war
And rose again
But for what?

Sensible (35/365)

You always know
When you're trying too hard
Walk in a crowd
And you'll learn what the fish know
Not how to blend in
Or be obedient
But how to efficiently
Use your power
How to leverage others
To get to where you want
Instead of always
Pushing others aside
And barging through
Like your pawn is the only piece
God is advancing today.

Try Again

Tap into the strength you had as a child. You are walking now because you fell down hundreds of times and you tried again. Everyone else was older than you, taller than you, but you thought you could do it too. And you did.

Hollywood Healthcare (34/365)

Kill the crazy ones
Kill the stupid ones
Kill the deformed ones
The healthy have to eat
Kill the unborn
Kill the old
Kill the sick
Murder by the State
They won't live long anyway

Play the card game
The one where you choose
Between saving a mother
Or her child
Kill an innocent
To save 500
How do you feel?

No wonder Hillary
Got nowhere with her plans
Health is an issue of life and death
And now the state is more involved
No one wants to play God
Unless they're a despot.

We gave you a chance to
See if you could do it better
But you killed people too
And took away my father's toes
And made me pay for my yoga
And carrots grown without poisons.

Maybe that's not so bad, the last part anyway. At least I have my freedom, at a price.

I welcome your criticism
The issue deserves utmost scrutiny
But caring for each other
Isn't a holocaust waiting to happen
And neither is murder to save a life
When motivations are kept in check.

Come to think of it
We know we suck at keeping motivations in check.
Look at Iraq.

But despite our attempts at
Hollywood endings
And swallowing soft creamy words like
Physically Impaired
Mentally Challenged

There still exist
Heartache
Handicaps,
Retards
Psychopaths
In our society

In a world abound with unlimited resources
We could all hold hands and let each one of our crazy lives unfold, unrestricted. That would be fair. No one wants to punish the innocent.

But sometimes hard choices have to be made
And not just by the state.
To have more children or not.
To keep dad on the ventilator or not.
Let's not pretend this is going to be easy
When we all have skin in the game.

God Thoughts

An interesting quote I got today in an email from Mom:

"If God were small enough to be understood, He would not be big enough to be worshiped."

~Evelyn Underhill

I have a lot of thoughts about this, but I will organize them later!

What do you think?

Rage (33/365)

I could burn metal with my glare
I'm riding on a thundercloud
With pain and lightning
In my fists
And I'm ready to strike
Make one false move
And I will rip you apart
With my rage
And expose your foolishness.
You will bow to my fury
And beg for forgiveness
I have suffered in silence
Far too long and look
What that has got me
I have proved my worth
And you will never again
Feel the warmth of my smile
Or eat the fruits of my efforts
Until you acknowledge
My strength and will.

The Greater Good (32/365)

"Do everything
As an instrument
In the hands of God"

When it's all on me
I feel sick, doubtful, burdened
But when I do it for you
I feel confident, guided
Powerful and peaceful

"Be thankful for your limitations
They are about as limitless as they get in this life"

Your bones will crush
As you greedily chase your reward.
And your prize will be
A trophy buried in the closet.

Come out into the light
Let the universe
Whisper in your ear
And the stars will sing your praises

Airport "shell"

Airport "shell", originally uploaded by Chrissy Mc.

I liked the way this piece of candy got shattered by people stepping on it. It kind of looks like a shell or something natural.

Push (31/365)

The body is weak
But the fire
Inside
Burns brightly
I push on
Toward the goal
In spite of myself
Willing every last
Detail into place
I finish
At last
Exhausted
And proud

Somewhere Else (30/365)

Somewhere
Giant raindrops fall slowly
From a lime-green sky

Carbon dioxide and water
Hint that we are not as unique
As some of us like to think

The stuff
That made us
Is floating around the universe

Just waiting for
Life to blossom
Wanting to be consumed

Profit (29/365)

The government is not for profit
We pay them enough to protect us
And no more

When they don't protect us
Who is held accountable?
The system is too large to blame

Somehow we all feel like
We've been taken by the banks
By our insurance companies

You mean these for-profit ventures
Dared to push the limit
Of how dry they could suck us?

You mean they didn't err
On the side of caution
When gamblers breathed down their necks?

It is one thing to take a chance
And turn a profit
It is quite another to keep a gun to the head of a good corporation

And we said, Protect us! Protect us!
The gambler got paid
And we went back to making deals under the table.

Fear (28/365)

Is fear relevant?
Once you have begun
The tedious process of
Removing it from your life
Situation by Situation
Groundhog Day style
Can it ever help you again?

Can you ever listen to
Another conversation
Without disgust for the
Presence of that
Foul-smelling creature,
Feeding off sharp words
And hasty opinions?

Can you ever again
Keep company with
That demon who causes
Men to become flighty,
Skittish, anxious,
Distrustful victims?
Should you?

My Buddy

Let it Go (27/365)

Go where your heart leads you
Though you may not understand
It always feels right
Not like a weight lifted
Off the chest
But right like a fountain
Pouring its water forth
Not minding where it goes
And bubbling on with glee
As the water bounces
Off the universe's walls
And returns to the pump
The heart of the fountain

Put it Out There (26/365)

Writing is weird

It takes a certain confidence
To say what's on your mind
Especially when it's all been said before
And better

But you never know who
Might need to hear
Your version of events
From your point of view

Not all word sequences
Speak to your heart
In your language
Today

The Dance (25/365)

The ultimate dance with life
You can spend your time
Pulling and tugging
Hating and Fearing
Or expanding
Moving in such
Perfect rhythm with life
That she recognizes you
And bestows her joy
Love and majesty
If only for one
Exhilarating
Moment.

The Melding (24/365)

Every cell in my body lights up
As you recall your brushes with power
And profundity
Something deep within me
Recognizes your authenticity
And joins you in your memory

The story ends
Our hearts peel apart
And I long to connnect again
I resist sucking you in
With my feminine power
And wait for your heart
To speak my truth again

I have a sensual recognition
Of beauty and power
But poor oral reciprocation
So I nod and smile and sparkle my eyes
Living in your moment
Like it was mine
Because it was
And the boundaries blur.

Their Little World (23/365)

An ant crawls curiously toward my hemline
He's not the biting type
He lives near grass so drenched
With pesticides
My skin erupts on contact
And I thought Bakersfield
Was bad.

Guided (22/365)

Even an atheist
Can admit to
Feeling guided
On a benevolent
Path

One does not
Need to speak
Of your God
To feel the
Wave they
Rode in on

Every so often
The stars do align
And we are
Those stars

Insanity (21/365)

What keeps you sane?
With these minds
In these bodies
Knowing your
Destiny is to wake up
30 or 40 thousand times
And live with
What you were given
And be forced
To witness
The sometimes beautiful
But often gruesome nature
Of humanity
Over and over

Man's search for meaning
The need to feel useful
Beyond gene
Propogation
So find a cause
Lose weight
Become more peaceful

But so many
Get caught up
In their own pitiful dramas
Painful side-shows
And choose to numb
Their experience
Thus denying themselves
The only true ache and insanity:
Knowing you exist

Lone (20/365)

You can be
Lonely but
Never alone
For every
Misery
There is
Company
That's what's so great
About 6 billion
Of us.
Even if you
Choose to suffer
In silence
You are not alone
In your choice.
Friends create
Trouble too,
You know.

Another Day in the Subway (19/365)

Here to amuse
Here to annoy
I look deep
Into your eyes
And you into mine
What will I find?
Something to love
Something to fear

A cute little dress
Shows off her genetics
The men can't help
But stalk her with their eyes
Proves how little control
We have over
Life's lust for itself
We are pretty packaging
For strands of DNA

And the smarter we are
The more sensitive to data
We compute
To survive and adapt
Tho' to her chagrin
We don't always choose
In favor of life

And the big have advantage
And so do the cute
The smart to a point
Or you can buy your way.
Charm is deceitful
And beauty is fleeting.

Invaded (18/365)

My throat is on fire
My jaws locked up
I trace a dull pain
Over my forehead
In my scalp
My shoulders round forward
To protect my heart
And warn others
Not to come near

My drooping head
Strains my neck
Even breathing
Irritates my tonsils
My insides fry
I sweat at night
And chill in the open air
My dreams are
Twisted

The invaders
Are just trying to live

But I will kill them.

Sick (17/365)

.
.
.
.

Great Lighting

Great Lighting, originally uploaded by Chrissy Mc.

My roommate Uvonne's painting was beautifully lit by the sun this afternoon (in the living room!). She now applies her talents to painted gourds, at www.uvonne.com

What Am I Good At?

I'm just wondering why it is taking me so long to find out what I'm good at

Fate is such a good teacher.

Experiment in Love (16/365)

Today
When I felt my heart closing up
I opened it
I thought one word
When I saw a stranger
Love
Smiles took over my face
Without effort
I relaxed
And expected the best
In my fantasy land
Where I had
Nothing to fear
Nothing to be angry about
Nothing to worry for
Just love
And I was given
So much
Love
Free food
Compliments
Support
And peace.

Flock of Clouds (2)

A Flock of Clouds

Without Love

I am nothing

How to React(15/365)

My nature is to react
I've had to train myself not to
But you are who you are
Even Jesus said
Reacting is dangerous
If he hits you
Turn the other cheek
If he takes your iPod
Give him your headphones
And your laptop
Many times my reactions
Are right
But mostly
They would be better
Tempered by thought
Reason
Separated from Emotion
And passed through a filter
Of Love.

Inspiration (14/365)

Inspiration is
Waiting for the right tide
Being observant enough
Silent enough
To know when
You are ready
To act
To know when
They are ready
To listen
No use
Swimming upstream
You don't need to go home
To lay your eggs
Just birth them upon
The mother wave

Ambitions (13/365)

Walk
Read
Play Piano
Teach the Younger Ones
Help Animals
Straight A's
Score Points
Sing
Scholarship
Valedictorian
Build Resume
Get Into Good School
Have Fun
Get Stronger
Throw Farther
More Scholarships
National Recognition
Good Job
High Salary
Steady Boyfriend
See the World
Research
Manage
Lead
Corporate Recognition
Build a House
Landscape
Own a Cat
Plan Parties
Share the Wealth
Expand
Study
Explore
Start a Business
Run a Business
Help the Government
Observe a Mentor
Teach
Learn
Teach Some More
Learn Some More
Expand
National Recognition
Grow
Transition
Get Married
Start a Family
Reconnect
...

Leaders

I like Maslow's musings about good leaders having less tolerance for imperfections in general. The crooked frame, the litter, the inefficiences bother a good leader more than the average person. They are inspired individuals who see deficits and work to bring about change.

Away (12/365)

Inability
To enjoy
The moment
State of mind
Hungry
FOOD
Sleepy
SOFT BED
Satisfied
I hear
Only complements
Cats are Alive and Alert
When they're Awake.
But the ends are not meeting
I'm not sleeping
And I've gone away
Away...

In the Light

More great lyrics from DC Talk:

"I wanna be in the light
As you are in the light
I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens
Oh, lord be my light and be my salvation
Cause all I want is to be in the light
All I want is to be in the light

The disease of self runs through my blood
It's a cancer fatal to my soul
Every attempt on my behalf has failed
To bring this sickness under control

Tell me, whats going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a savior"

WTF?

I'm not sure what this strange man was trying to accomplish riding his bike down 16th street today. He had to use his shoe as a brake on the back tire, and was hugging the telephone poles at each intersection so he wouldn't fall over. Just glad I got a picture!

Art (11/365)

Is poetry art?
Only if someone wants to read it.
Some say I paint landscapes
But I only always paint myself.
Art is not whatever you think it is
What you think does not matter
What you think did not create the art
It's not about you
It never was
Don't lie to us, Creator

Human (10/365)

Bill Maher says
Sometimes the design
Is not intelligent

Women carry and abort
Half-formed
Deformed
Fetuses

We believe there is
A divine plan for our lives
And there is, in a way
What is meant to be
Will be

Is that plan good?
Of course it is
How could we believe
Otherwise?
If you wait long enough
You'll get your happy ending
And hope keeps you alive

Our existence seems at once
Completely random
And yet
Perfectly Orchestrated
When you hear
The other players
In the symphony

Through our relationships
Our interactions
The best we can do
Is to mimic the ease
With which

The wind blows
The dinosaurs died
The earth spins
Our hearts beat
A baby smiles.

Ambition (9/365)

We all want to change the world
The 50-year-olds look at Obama
The way I used to look at Britney Spears
What have I done lately?
Why isn't a light being cast upon my efforts?
Am I trying hard enough?
Did I seize every opportunity?
If I have time to think about this,
Am I not busy enough?
Stop constructing your fantasy world
And take a few steps in this one
Never complain about what you control
Never complain about what you don't control
Just never complain
Stop wishing you were making more money
Wielding more power
Feeling more comfortable
Stop inviting others into the gap
Between where you are and where you think you need to be
Especially if you don't know how to get there
And don't care enough to make it happen

Sunset on Ocean Beach

IMG_0068, originally uploaded by Chrissy Mc.

Sublime

Atari Sunset

IMG_0078, originally uploaded by Chrissy Mc.

I love going to the beach, especially when I am overwhelmed by my emotions and need to stare at something bigger than myself for a while.

I love this pixelated sunset. It is not a trick of the digital photo, this is actually how the sun looked that evening.

Bucky on Love

"Love is omni-inclusive"

Independence Day (8/365)

Today I will be free
Unencumbered
Put aside childish things
And habits that do not suit me
Today the record
Will not skip
Life will go on
Without me getting in the way
I will be present
Mindful
Dignified
Aware
I will not be controlled
By ugliness
Today is a new day
I am free
I will fight
I will light my own path
And overcome my own demons
I brought them into this world
And I can take them out.

Justice (7/365)

Blend in
Adapt
Your skin is your badge
Do you believe what they say about you?

Change or die
Robin Hood
Street justice
Bend the system

Could you love a foreigner?
I don't know your language
You don't know me

They're smaller
They're poorer
They're not a threat

Give me your money
You laugh
They hit you with a bat
And take it from you

A smile condescends
An averted glance
Is self-righteous

Who will make amends?
I quickly walk away.

Living (6/365)

How I wish these paved streets
Were still grassy meadows
Then I could feel your life
Under my feet

Persistent sprouts crack
The sidewalk
Like a man buried alive
Clawing its way to the surface

I can't tell if I am nearer
Or farther from the
Energy source
Living in the city

There is so much more
Stimulous
And so many more
Barriers

Am I really living?
I mean really living?

Is God like a million strings
Attached to my body?
I can move but I must
Be ever conscious of the tension

The guiding forces
That choose my steps for me
Open my mouth
And guide my hands

So how do I live?

The greatest commandment
Is to love one another
Or at least
Do no harm

And don't draw too much attention
To yourself
Or others will notice
Your broken strings
And scoff

Shine (5/365)

The way you share your smile
With the world
Makes you beautiful

The way you step aside
To let the ignorant one pass by
Earns you respect

The way you keep silent
As fools defend and offend
Proves your wisdom

The way you look around
Really look
Makes them wonder

The way you show interest
In anyone but yourself
Makes you shine

You (4/365)

Sattva
Bhakti

During the day
I take on such importance

Look what I'm doing
Look what I did
Look what I will do

Your praises are not yet
Ever on my lips

So I tattoo them on my body

Devotion means
Remembering you before
Each word I speak

Balance means keeping
A state of mind where
Thoughts of you can grow.

You
My source of wonder
You
My protector
You
My kindness & mercy
You
My wisdom