Up Late

A combination of Green Tea, Swiss Dark chocolate, and dreamy plans is keeping me awake for the past 3 hours as I lay in bed. My sore throat could use the sleep to recover, but my mind wants to keep planning & acting. I'm picturing how my new massage office will look, how my therapists will greet & usher back clients; how each and every movement or process in the office will occur. If I can see it and understand it, I can make it happen. Just a few more details to iron out and I will feel more confident.

My Yoga Family

Yoga Teachers, originally uploaded by Chrissy Mc.

Above are the dear people I spent so much time with in the past 3 months. I graduated teacher training one week ago, and I'm looking forward to keeping in touch with each of them. We were really a close group.

Volcano

IMG_3914, originally uploaded by Chrissy Mc.

Another world, another time (Listen here: Trip Like I Do!)...or maybe just Ocean Beach at sunset again.

Square Peg

I want to get married: http://www.amazon.com/gp/music/wma-pop-up/B0001AP07M001008

Still trying to fit my square peg into the right hole here in San Francisco. Either I have to find a hole that can fit an engineer, a business owner, a yoga teacher, and a coach at the same time, or I will have to shave off the corners of each of them to fit into the round hole of stability and progress. Or let go of three identities, pick one, and I could easily slip into a hole somewhere in the city. The question is am I willing to give up any of them? Should I give up any of them? Time will tell...

Not Involved

Our thoughts have no power until we attach ourselves to them. A street bum whom I did not recognize was rooting around in trash cans outside my apartment today, and when I casually walked past him to my car, nibbling crackers on my way to yoga class, he started saying a string of horrible things in my direction, like f$*k you, you bitch and just went on and on as I was driving away. Just angry, terrible things.

And I thought at that moment, I had a choice: (1) I could attach myself to the words he was saying and start to analyze them...maybe I should have looked him in the eye, maybe I am a bitch, was I being a bitch? Am I a horrible person? OR, (2) I could just disregard his words immediately & completely, knowing that his issues were his issues, and they had nothing to do with me, and he was just choosing to be angry and wicked.

I chose the second route and peacefully drove off to my yoga class. There was a sprout of sympathy and concern I felt for him, but mostly just disregard. It is nice to have that tool in your back pocket of not taking everything that happens to come in your direction too seriously. What if he wasn't really talking to me? I would have agonized for nothing. What if I reminded him of his ex-wife who took everything he owned? Again, nothing to do with me.

We have a choice to involve ourselves or not to get involved with the thoughts and ideas that enter our own brain. Many of the things we perceive end up getting twisted in our thoughts and mental analysis, or are immediately shaded by paradigms we developed as children that aren't necessarily valid anymore.

We can immediately act on our thoughts, or we can realize that a thought is just a thought until we decide to do something or feel some way about it, and NOT necessarily a truth, or a thing worth our time, energy, or focus. What is your peace of mind worth? What do you take seriously?

Time for Spirituality, or at least Happiness

I've been reading some yogic texts regarding pursuing spirituality. Not many people in my culture today pursue spirituality as their full-time dedication, as so many in India and other cultures have traditionally done.

But I liked the point that you could spend 30 minutes a day pursuing that spirituality. And you could apply some concepts throughout the day that will aid you during those 30 minutes of contemplation or peace.

Things to avoid are overeating, over-exertion, talkativeness, rigidity to social or religious rules, and avoiding negative people, people with low morals or low aspirations, who gossip or talk a lot without thinking, or give in to every bodily or thought impulse indiscriminately.

Things to practice are enthusiasm, perseverance, discrimination, unshakable faith, courage, study of spiritual books, purity, contentment, and living a simple life, the fewer material objects that you are attached to, the better.

These things help you to maintain your peace & happiness, and help to prepare your mind for higher states of consciousness, where you are no longer a slave to your thoughts & impulses. Where life's ripples no longer shake you because you realize that your small, isolated pond in actuality has no boundaries and moves as part of a larger ocean.

Great Minds Think Alike

"Man is created by thought. What a man thinks, he becomes. Man sows a thought and reaps an action, sows an action and reaps a habit, sows a habit and reaps a destiny. Man has made his destiny by his thinking. By right thinking, he can become the master of his destiny instead of a slave to it. The greatest victory you can win is over your own mind."
~Sri Swami Satchidananda

"As a man thinks, so shall he become."
~Plato

"Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words.
Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors.
Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits.
Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values.
Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny."
~Gandhi

Be Still and Know that I am God

Be Still...
By singing devotional songs, chanting holy names, meditating on something uplifting, quieting the body using yoga

and Know...
Knowing that involves the senses and the emotions, and the spirit, feeling that connection, the type of truth-knowledge that harmonizes and resonates through every cell and fiber in your body

that I am God...
Make a connection, a feeling of not-being-separated, to something outside yourself (this could involve first making a connection TO yourself)

Time for Change

"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven...A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted..."

Right now is my time for change. My yoga training is coming to a close, and I'll have more time for other things. The opportunity was presented to me to open a second office, and after doing the math, I am confident that I can make it work out so that I won't have to go back to work for "the man"! That means the next 3 weeks will mean working very, very hard to get all the ducks in a row for a grand opening in December.

I'm excited for the challenge, and I'm meeting some great local massage therapists that are excited about the opportunity as well. I hope it will grow into something amazing for all of us.

Steady Wisdom

There's a phrase used to describe certain saints or yoga gurus, called "sage of steady wisdom."

I figure there are many good reasons I'm not insanely rich or famous. I thought about this because a commercial just came on for the CMAs (Country Music Awards) with Carrie Underwood heavily featured. It makes me think about young people that are suddenly thrust into fame, and how they instantly become role models, ready or not.

I would much rather be ready. Any fool can have an opinion, and any fool can be famous or have a following. A good point was made on Bill Maher the other night that President Bush has a 24% approval rating, so no matter how the next election turns out, a quarter of the voting population are fools!

But seriously, how much better to have spent many, many years learning from others, and considering what is true and what is not, so that every word out of your mouth is uplifting and true. A sage of steady wisdom is the goal.

Dichotomies?

I've been learning the concept of ego & responsibility vs. total surrender to 'God' (and by God I mean the sum total of all things). It is said that you either claim responsibility for all that you accomplish in life, or you give credit to God. The second option works in your favor when things go poorly--'it was God's will; the universe has other plans for me.'

It makes me think of the artists that win awards and always dedicate them to God. I usually roll my eyes because most of these guys have such big egos that you know it is insincere.

However, it's an interesting concept of laying all your actions at God's feet: Do your best and let God do the rest.

I'm wondering if the same applies to randomness vs. God's Plan. Either everything is random or it is all part of God's Plan. My experience has made me feel that you do reap what you sow, and that you do get what you need in life (just not always what you want). So even though I love the concept of chaos and randomness, it seems like things are pretty well ordered sometimes. But that may just be the engineer in me trying to solve puzzles.

Enough thoughts for tonight...

My Offspring

I can't believe I forgot to blog about this, but I found out about a month ago that the couple that bought some eggs from me a while back found out they are pregnant! It took them 2 cycles to be successful. MY Mom and Dad were quite excited that they were going to be some kind of grandparents again!

It's pretty wild to think that my DNA is growing in another woman's stomach as we speak, and all the traits the biological mother (ME!) passes on are being passed on. Please send your thoughts and prayers this way for a safe pregnancy and healthy child...the parents are actually going to send me a picture of the baby once he/she is born. Wild times we live in.

I would do it again, but there is always a risk when you are injecting yourself with higher levels of hormones, not to mention infection risks of getting your ovaries pierced to extract the eggs. I wouldn't want to screw up my OWN chances of delivering a child. On the other hand, who knows, these kids could likely be in better hands and homes than mine :) I don't have any delusions that I would be a perfect parent, by any means. At least I know this one will be in good hands.